SMART GIRL.
A country girl, riding by a turnpike-road without paying toll, the gate-keeper hailed her and demanded his fee. On her demanding his authority, he referred her to his sign, where she read, "A man and horse, six cents." "Well," says she, "you can demand nothing of me, as this is but a woman and a mare."
CROOKED STICK.
As a number of persons were lately relating to each other the various extraordinary incidents which had fallen within their observation, a traveler attracted their attention by the following: "As I was passing through a forest, I heard a rustling noise in the bushes near the road: and being impelled by curiosity, I was determined to know what it was. When I arrived at the spot, I found it was occasioned by a large stick of wood, which was so very crooked that it would not lie still."
A CLINCHER.
Grace Greenwood, in speaking of a certain and too fashionable kind of parental government, in her lecture at Cleveland, a few evenings since, told this refreshing little story: A gentleman told his little boy, a child of four years, to shut the gate. He made the request three times, and the youngster paid no sort of attention to it. "I have told you three times, my son, to shut the gate," said the gentleman sorrowfully. "And I've told you free times," lisped the child, "that I won't do it. You must be stupid."
A MISCONCEPTION.
A barber having a dispute with a parish clerk on a point of grammar, the latter said it was a downright barbarism, indeed. "What!" exclaimed the other, "do you mean to insult me? Barberism, indeed! I'd have you to know that a barber can speak as good grammar as a parish clerk any day in the week."
SQUIBOB'S ANTIDOTE FOR FLEAS.
FROM PHŒNIXIANA.