"Well," said the farmer, with a leer in his eye, "in the first place, I want a glass of toddy," which was forthcoming. "Now I will have a nice cigar," says the countryman. It was promptly handed him, leisurely lighted, and then throwing himself back with his feet as high as his head, he commenced puffing away like a Spaniard.
"Now what do you want to purchase?" says the store-keeper.
"My neighbor," said the countryman, "handed me two cents when I left home, to buy a plug of tobacco—have you got that article?"
The store-keeper sloped instanter.
A SELL.
A witty knave bargained with a seller of lace in London for as much as would reach from one of his ears to the other. When they had agreed, it appeared that one of his ears was nailed at the pillory in Bristol.
PRACTICAL JOKING.
A few days since, writes an attorney, as I was sitting with Brother D——, in his office, Court Square, a client came in, and said—
"Squire D——, W——, the stabler, shaved me dreadfully, yesterday, and I want to come up with him."
"State your case," says D——.