What tune is that which ladies never call for? Why, the spit-toon.
When is a lady's neck not a neck? When it is a little bare. (bear!)
When is music like vegetables? When there are two beats to the measure.
Why was the elephant the last animal going into Noah's ark? Because he waited for his trunk.
Why is a poor horse greater than Napoleon? Because in him there are many bony parts.
NEAT REPLY.
A lady wished a seat. A portly, handsome gentleman brought one and seated her. "Oh, you're a jewel," said she. "Oh, no," replied he, "I'm a jeweller—I have just set the jewel." Could there have been anything more gallant than that?
ON THE STUMP.
A speaker at a stump meeting out West, declared that he knew no East, no West, no North, no South.
"Then," said a tipsy bystander, "you ought to go to school and larn your geography."