LITERARY HUSBAND.
"I wish," said a beautiful wife to her studious husband, "I wish I was a book." "I wish you were—an almanac," replied her lord, "and then I would get a new one every year." Just then the silk rustled.
ECONOMY.
"Blast your stingy old skin!" said a runner to a competitor, before a whole depot full of bystanders: "I knew you when you used to hire your children to go to bed without their suppers, and after they got to sleep you'd go up and steal their pennies to hire 'em with again the next night!"
A TRICK.
The following story is told of a boy who was asked to take a jug and get some beer for his father, who had spent all his money for strong drink. "Give me the money, then, father," replied the son.
"My son, any body can get the beer with money, but to get it without money, that is a trick."
So the boy took the jug and went out. Shortly he returned, and placing the jug before his father, said, "Drink."
"How can I drink, when there is no beer in the jug?"
"To drink beer out of a jug," says the boy, "where there is beer, anybody could do that; but to drink beer out of a jug where there is no beer, that is a trick!"