QUICK TIME.
A gentleman was one day arranging music for a young lady to whom he was paying his addresses.
"Pray, Miss D——," said he, "what time do you prefer?"
"Oh," she replied carelessly, "any time will answer, but the quicker the better."
STRONG AFFECTION.
There is a man who says he has been at evening parties out West, where the boys and girls hug so hard that their sides cave in. He says he has many of his own ribs broken that very way.
VERY AFFECTING.
A professional beggar boy, some ten years of age, ignorant of the art of reading, bought a card to put on his breast, and appeared in the public streets as a "poor widow with eight small children."
HARD SHAVE.
"Does the razor take hold well?" inquired a darkey, who was shaving a gentleman from the country. "Yes," replied the customer, with tears in his eyes, "it takes hold first rate, but it don't let go worth a cent."