“Preceesely,” quo’ Thomas, stretching out his forefinger; “ye’ve said it to a hair. At that time, as I was observing, the butcher didna supply a company or companies, according to the terms of a contract, drawn up before sponsible witnesses, between him and the paymaster; but the soldiers got beef-money along with their pay; with which said money, given them, ye observe, for said purpose, they were bound and obligated, in terms of the statute, to buy, purchase, and provide the said beef, twice a week or oftener, as it might happen; an orderly offisher making inspection of the camp-kettles regularly every forenoon at ane o’clock or thereabouts.
“So, as ye’ll pay attention to observe, there was a private in Captain M‘Tavish’s company, the second to the left of the centre, of the name of Duncan MacAlpine, a wee, hardy, blackavised, in-knee’d creature, remarkable for naething that ever I heard tell of, except being reported to have shotten a gauger in Badenoch, or thereabouts; and for having a desperate red nose, the effects, ye observe, I daursay,—the effects of drinking malt speerits.
“Weel, week after week passed ower, and better passed ower, and Duncan played aff his tricks, like anither Herman Boaz, the slight-o’-hand juggler—him that’s suspecket to be in league and paction with the deil. But ye’ll hear.”
“’Od, it’s diverting, Thomas,” said I to him; “gang on, man.”
“Weel, ye see, as I was observing. Let me see, where was I at? Ou ay, having a paction wi’ the deil. So, when all were watching beside the camp-kettles, some stirring them wi’ spurtles, or parritch-sticks, or forks, or whatever was necessary, the orderly offisher made a point and practice of regularly coming by, about the chap of ane past meridian, as I observed to ye before, to make inspection of what ilka ane had wared his pay on; and what he had got simmering in the het water for his dinner.
“So, on the day concerning which I am about to speak, it fell out, as usual, that he happened to be making his rounds, halting a moment—or twa, maybe—before ilka pat; the man that had the charge thereof, by the way of stirring like, clapping down his lang fork, and bringing up the piece of meat, or whatever he happened to be making kail of, to let the inspector see whether it was lamb, pork, beef, mutton, or veal. For, ye observe,” continued Thomas, gieing me, as I took it to mysel, anither queer side look, “the purpose of the offisher making the inspection, was to see that they laid out their pay-money conform to military regulation; and no to filling their stamicks, and ruining baith soul and body, by throwing it away on whisky, as but ower mony, that aiblins should hae kent better, have dune but ower aften.”
“’Tis but too true,” said I till him; “but the best will fa’ intil a faut sometimes. We have a’ our failings, Thomas.”
“Just so,” answered Thomas; “but where was I at? Ou, about the whisky. Weel, speaking about the whisky: ye see, the offisher, Lovetenant Todrick, I b’lief they called him, had made an observe about Duncan’s kettle; so, when he cam to him, Duncan was sitting in the lown side of a dyke, with his red nose, and a pipe in his cheek, on a big stane, glowering frae him anither way; and, as I was saying, when he cam to him he said, ‘Weel, Duncan MacAlpine, what have ye in your kettle the day, man?’
“And Duncan, rinning down his lang fork, answered in his ain Highland brogue way—‘Please your honour, just my auld fav’rite, tripe.’
“’Deed, Duncan,” said Lovetenant Todrick, or whatever they ca’d him, “it is an auld fav’rite, surely, for I have never seen ye have onything else for your denner, man.”