I mind very weel too, on the afternoon of the dividual day, that my doorneebour, Thomas Burlings, pappit in; and, in our twa-handit crack ower the counter, after asking me in a dry, curious way, if I had come by nae skaith in the business of the play, he said, the thing had now spread far and wide, and was making a great noise in the world. I thocht the body a thocht sharp in his observes; so I pretended to take it quite lightly, proceeding in my shaping-out a pair of buckskin-breeches, which I was making for ane of the duke’s huntsmen; so, seeing he was aff the scent, he said in a mair jocose way—“Weel, speaking about buckskins, I’ll tell ye a gude story about that.”
“Let us hear’t,” said I; for I was in that sort of queerish way, that I didna care muckle about being very busy.
“Ye’se get it as I heard it,” quo’ Thomas; “and it’s no less worth telling, that it bears a gude moral application in its tail, after the same fashion that a blister does gude by sucking away the vicious humours of the body, thereby making the very pain it gies precious.” And here—though maybe it was just my thocht—the body strokit his chin, and gied me a kind of half glee, as muckle as saying, “take that to ye, neebour.” But I deserved it all, and couldna take it ill aff his hand, being, like mysel, ane of the elders of our kirk, and an honest enough, preceese-speaking man.
“Ye see, ye ken,” said Thomas, “that the Breadalbane Fencibles, a wheen Highland birkies, were put into camp on Fisherraw links, maybe for the benefit of their douking, on account of the fiddle[[14]]—or maybe in case the French should land at the water-mouth—or maybe to gie the regiment the benefit of the sea air—or maybe to make their bare houghs hardier, for it was the winter time, frost and snaw being as plenty as ye like, and no sae scarce as pantaloons among the core, or for some ither reason, gude, bad, or indifferent, which disna muckle matter. But, ye see, the lang and the short o’ the story is, that there they were encamped, man and mother’s son of them, going through their dreels by day, and sleeping by night—the privates in their tents, and the offishers in their markees; living in the course of nature on their usual rations of beef and tammies, and sae on. So, ye understand me, there was nae such smart orderings of things in the army in thae days, the men not having the beef served out to them by a butcher, supplying each company or companies by a written contract, drawn up between him and the paymaster before sponsible witnesses; but ilka ane bringing what pleased him, either tripe, trotters, steaks, cow’s-cheek, pluck, hough, spar-rib, jiggot, or so forth.”
[14]. See Dr Jamieson’s “Scottish Dictionary.”
“’Od!” said I, “Thomas, ye crack like a minister. Where did ye happen to pick up all that knowledge?”
“Where should I have got it? but from an auld half-pay sergeant-major, that lived in our spare room, and had been out in the American war, having seen a power of service, and been twice wounded,—ance in the aff cuit, and the ither time in the cuff of the neck.”
“I thocht as muckle,” said I; “but say on, man; it’s unco entertaining.”
“Weel,” continued he, “let me see where I was at when ye stoppit me; for maybe I’ll hae to begin at the beginning again. For gif ye yenterrupt me, or edge in a word, or put me out by asking questions, I lose the thread of my discourse, and canna proceed.”
“Ou, let me see,” said I, “ye was about the contract concerning the beef.”