| SUNDAY | |
| MONDAY | Was it not about April 1st that the Laird of Skibo declared he would give away real money instead of libraries? |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | Noah born. Noah first taught the race how wise a thing it is to lay up something for a rainy day. He laid up an ark. |
| THURSDAY | |
| FRIDAY | (64) Roman citizens conspire to fire Nero. |
| SATURDAY | (64) Nero fires Rome. |
| APRIL | |
| Umbrellas cover a multitude of thieves. |
HINTS TO AMATEUR GARDENERS
| In the spring look after your potatoes carefully. Have their eyes examined by a good oculist, and provide spectacles for such as need them. Never string your beans till they are old enough to understand it. If you begin too early, they are apt to lose their temper. Don't attempt to graft your pie-plants. Many have tried grafting a custard to a mince, in the hope that the brandy in the latter would assimilate with the custard and make a Tom and Jerry, but it never works. Before planting your punkins, carefully remove the punk. If you have any difficulty harvesting the fruit of your boot-tree, use a boot-jack. Owing to the well-known fact that the mongoose is the deadly foe of snakes, it is thought that the best way to exterminate them from your garden is to cultivate the mon-gooseberry. Try it. The mint-julep does not belong to the tulip family, although the latter has a strong affinity for it. | Gardening Note: Instead of buying expensive fertilizer for the garden, use some of last year's "popular" magazines. April: derived from the Latin A-p-e-r-i-o, meaning I open, hence Eye-opener, or Easter opening. |
| SUNDAY | |
| MONDAY | Andrew Carnegie was stung by the kissing bug in Atlanta, Ga. |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | Great commotion in the monkey cage at Central Park. Brander Matthews and Handy Skinegie overheard talking Esperanto. |
| THURSDAY | |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | All is not so that's said. —White House Maxim. |
| APRIL | |
| When you see a girl in a very chic gown you may be sure her father had to shell out. |