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There is no better spring month
in which to move than April.
Look among your papers and if
you don't find a rent receipt for
March you will know that it's your
move. Plant an elm tree on Arbor
day—it may grow up to be the tree
under which Gen. Washington stopped
to rest when he was pursuing the
British—who knows! The farmer
will do well to apply fertilizer to his
land this month. There is no better
fertilizer on the market than Limburger
cheese. It costs considerable, but a
little of it will inoculate a large area.
Extract from an Office-Boy's
Dairy
8 a.m. Hired. 11 a.m. Tired. 12 m. Fired. | Spring Hints: A little spring in a bed is good. A little spring near the house is better. A little spring in a poem is the limit. |
| SUNDAY | |
| MONDAY | The indictment is mightier than the charity
contribution. —Trust Proverbs. |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | (1716) Public bank founded in Massachusetts. Geological deposits refused. |
| THURSDAY | (1856) Condensed milk first made in Connecticut. Price of milk-weed goes up. |
| FRIDAY | (1659) Cromwell resigned his protectorate. |
| (1905) Taft got off the "lid." | |
| SATURDAY | |
| APRIL | |
| Most things are good when they're new. Men and violins don't get good till they're old. |
GARDEN AND FARMING HINTS:
| Black-eyed Susan, Sweet William, and Johnny-Jump-Up will not grow in a garden built for two. Either William or John must be weeded out. Silk hose are preferable to rubber when raising Ladies' Slippers. Trumpet vines grow fast on automobiles. Young ladies at summer resorts should cultivate Bachelor's Buttons; with care they may be grafted into Bridal Roses. Many an Ox-eyed Daisy proves a Snapdragon after picking. Wild Oats sown in second childhood are reaped by the next generation. Snowballs and highballs both fade away in hot weather. It's a deep-rooted crop of weeds that the muck rake won't loosen. Very young men give their attention to the cultivation of Widow's Weeds; men of an older growth prefer to watch the Tender Buds bloom. | Rainy Day Advice: To pick out your umbrella from among a number of better ones: take the best one—it's yours. |
| SUNDAY | |
| MONDAY | Harvard University founded—the oldest institution of foot-ball and accidental learning in America. |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | (1895) Elbert Hubbard had his hair cut. Wise Elbert Hubbard Went to his cupboard To get the poor world a thought, But when he got there The cupboard was bare And so the poor world got naught. |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | |
| APRIL | |
| If you can fool half the people all the time, that's good enough; don't be a hog. |