HELPFUL HINT FOR APRIL
|
Have you ever thought how
much money you waste in paying
rent? Now that you are
about to sign a new lease, it is time
to ponder this subject. Say you pay
$50 a month rent. That is $600 a
year. Think! If you should pay rent
for two thousand years you would
waste as much money as Pierpont
Muchgain makes on a little deal in
railroads of a dull afternoon.
Keeping Lent
Jones borrowed my umbrella. I now know what he meant When he said it was his custom To religiously keep lent. | Health Hint: For that tired feeling take a good doze of sleep. To Make the World Brighter: Use hope and soap. |
| SUNDAY | It's not the loss of life makes death bitter,
it's the obituaries. —D. Ceest. |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | (1901-'02-'03-'04-'05-'06, etc.) A large
large section of the coal miners of
Pennsylvania struck because the operators
used non-union-made tooth powder. |
| (1906) Kentucky went prohibition by a tremendous minority. | |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | |
| APRIL | |
| The wind may be tempered to the shorn lamb, but the wolf gets equal benefit, just the same. |
FORECAST FOR MAY
| From the 1st to the 10th spring house-cleaning will take place. Look out for soft soap on the stairs. Meals will be served to gentlemen down town. There is no place like home during spring house-cleaning—this is why home is so generally avoided during that period. From the 10th to the 20th buds will burst with deafening reports and the grass will do some fancy shooting. From the latter date to the end of the month people will discard their woolens for pneumonia. The zodiacal sign for May is Gemini, or twins. If you see a stork skulking about your residence, shoot it. May is an open month on storks. | Gardening Note: If you sow wild oats you are likely to reap a crop of "tares." To Break a Will— See a lawyer. To Break a Bill— See a doctor. To Break a Till— See a burglar. |