| SUNDAY | (1781) Battle of Eutaw. |
| (1906) W. C. T. U. tries to throw Smoot out of the Senate. | |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | (673) Theodre, of England, calls first Council of Bishops. |
| (1906) Theodore, of Washington, calls Council of Muck-rakers. | |
| THURSDAY | |
| FRIDAY | FIRST CANOE—Doesn't it make you tired to be taken out by one of those fresh young men who doesn't know how to paddle? |
| SECOND CANOE—Yes, it often quite upsets me. | |
| SATURDAY | |
| OCTOBER | |
| There is some good in every heart, some rubber in every neck. |
HELPFUL HINT FOR OCTOBER
| If you have carelessly left your ermine muff and neck-piece where the moths have attacked it during the summer, an easy and simple way to remedy the damage will be—but wait! Maybe you haven't any ermine muff and neck-piece. Far be it from us to touch a tender spot. She—(very décolleté). How far do you think a girl ought to go toward revealing the secrets of her heart? He—(sizing her up). Well, I should say you'd gone about the limit. | Footwear Advice: Two empty bananas make a very good pair of slippers. Health Hint: There is no sure cure for laziness, but a second wife may relieve it. |
| SUNDAY | There was a young man from St. Louis Who'd eat nothing else but chop souis, A habit he learned When his medals he earned In the fight at Manila with Douis! |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | (1196) Diet at Wurzburg—beer and pretzels. |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | "Half a suit of pajamas is better than no
nightie." —Hindoo Proverb. |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | |
| OCTOBER | |
| The easiest way to put a baby to sleep is the rockiest way. |