RARE RECIPES
| TO MAKE A LIVING: To one old woman with money add "soft-soap" to her taste. Sweeten with gush. Mix with a wedding ceremony and shake quickly when you have her money. TO MAKE ANGEL-FOOD: Take a "peach" with red lips. Add a shadynook. Sweeten with kisses. Serve in the moonlight. TO PRESERVE MONEY: Take a roll of "yellow-backs" from whoever has one. Mix with all the money you can borrow. Put in a strong-box and let it stand till the police have forgotten you. Repeat the process and cover with a prominent part in church affairs. | Entomological Note: In Washington the Katy-dids now say Teddy did, Teddy didn't. Home Hint: Servant girls should be picked early this month. If picked green they often last the whole winter. It is inadvisable to pick them too fresh. |
| SUNDAY | (1296) Society of "Merchant Adventurers" established by John, of Biabaut. |
| (1901) Steal Trust organized by Morgan, of New York. | |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | "One may write for the Ladies' Home Journal
without having to read it." —Kudyard Ripling. |
| WEDNESDAY | |
| THURSDAY | (15,001 B.C.) Venus explains platonic friendship to Adonis. |
| FRIDAY | |
| SATURDAY | (575 B.C.) Horatius beat Lars Porsena at a game of bridge. |
| OCTOBER | |
| There's many a cup 'twixt the office and the ferry slip. |
YOU NEVER CAN TELL
|
Sons of great men oft remind us That no matter what our fame, Offspring that we leave behind us May be lobsters, just the same. | Economical Hint: A good imitation of soapsuds may be made by shaking a bottle of champagne and then opening the bottle. |