Dear sir, you know little, the case of poor Whittell:
I'm courting, tantivy, if you will believe me—
Now mark what I say:
I'm frank in my proffers, and when I make offers
To kiss the sweet creature, my lips cannot meet her,
My beard stops the way.
You've heard my condition, and now I petition,
That, without omission, with all expedition
You'll give it a strike,
And send it by Tony, he'll pay you the money—
I'll shave and look bonny, and go to my honey,
As snod as you like.
If you do not you'll hip me, my sweetheart will slip me,
And if I should smart for't, and break my brave heart for't,
Are you not to blame?
But if you'll oblige me, as gratitude guides me,
I'll still be your servant, obedient and fervent,
Whilst Whittell's my name.
[38] This phrase means, the conferring of a favour.
THE NATURAL PHILOSOPHER;
Or, The Downfall of the Learned Humbugs!
Tune—"Canny Newcassel."
Oh! hae ye not heard o' this wonderful man,
Perpetual Motion's inventor!
The Sun, Muin, and Stars are a' doon iv his plan,
But take time till it comes frae the prenter!
The last time he lectur'd he tell'd such a tale
'Bout Vibration, Air, and such matter;
He can prove that a washing-tub is not a pail,
And all Isaac Newton's brains batter!
CHORUS.