"Thirty cents!" repeated the general in astonishment. "Why, if you were in New York you could get three dollars for them."
The boy looked critically at the officer for a moment and then said, scornfully:
"Yes, suh; en' I reckon if I had a bucket of water in hell I could get a million dollars for it."—Saturday Evening Post.
MOZART'S MILITARY MARCH.
Cardinal Gibbons was facetious when the Irish ladies' choir of Dublin called on him. Turning suddenly, he asked:
"Which one of you is the oldest?"
None claimed the honor and all blushed. The talk drifted around to Gilmore and his band, and Cardinal Gibbons told of how Gilmore, at Coney Island, hearing that the cardinal was in the audience, played "Maryland, My Maryland," and how it pleased him.
"Gilmore," said the cardinal, "was famous for his playing of Mozart's 'Twelfth Mass.' Once he played it in a North Carolina town and next day the local paper announced that he rendered with great effect Mozart's 'Twelfth Massachusetts.'"
Pittsburgh Dispatch.