P.M. generall Sir, I have a complaint against the citty of gilead the police crippled me. In 1901 committ no offense and the city fathers there humbugged me, and drove me out of town contrary to the laws of christ, moses, and the profets, and all nations, tribes, and clans.
So i pray you to lift your finger and do something about it, i want to get paid for my property. I was up in tenicee to beg the price of a suit of clows but i am back now and want them to settle that claim with me.
P.S.—i tried to get before the last Congris and i got in the workhouse.
And again, here is a letter from a local official who dreads the invasion of rural free delivery:
Poastmaster General, Sir as this Tock of Rheual free Delivery has Got up heare and so many is Dissathisfide is the cause of the Patrishon Being sent you and if you will Nodes, you will See that Several Names Appear on Boath Patrishons and About Nine out of Every Ten that Assign for Rheual Free Delivery Mail Surves is Dissathisfide and doant want hit and Ses they wars Fool and Lyde in to sign the Patrishon for Rheual Free Delivery.
The ignorance and illiteracy of these postmasters is not typical. The cases are really exceptional. Yet there are many official eccentricities. There is, for example, the old story of postmasters who persistently peruse private postal cards—and this propensity is so common, or is supposed to be so common, that it has even been celebrated in verse:
In a village post-office Miss Peek
Had a job at six dollars a week;
But she near had a fit
And threatened to quit
When a postal came written in Greek.
A MAN'S CHARACTER IS AS HIS NOSE IS.
SIZE AND SHAPE ARE SIGNIFICANT.
He Who Knows His Nose May Quickly
Determine Whether His Traits Are
Those of Greatness or Mediocrity.