“Ike,” sez he, “remove th’—er—imped— imped—th’ packs off them beasts uh burden.”
And then to th’ perfessor:
“Competent is my middle name. When it comes to th’ maternal instinct of grizzly bears I feels as competent as uh hungry coyote in uh herd uh sick sheep. Ike is a authority on snakes and gophers, so between us I reckon you’ll git enough material to last yuh a lifetime. What do yuh know about grizzlies?”
“Nothing at all,” sez th’ perfessor. “I fear that I wouldn’t know one if I were to meet it. I’ll admit it was a foolish argument, when neither Professor Manning nor myself are at all familiar with natural history, but it is things like this that lend zest to life. Am I right, Mister Simpson?”
“Simpkins,” sez Magpie. “Uh-huh, I reckon it does. Yessir, I’d shore agree that it might. But, Perfessor, if I was in yore place, not bein’ familiar with grizzlies, I’d shore side-step anythin’ I met that wasn’t familiar. There’s one redeemin’ feature about uh grizzly—he don’t stop to argue. One or two uh them square-heads would put enough zest in uh man’s life to keep him supplied fer right smart of uh time.”
Well, that shore was some outfit. Them packs looks like uh travelin’ banquet. There’s three foldin’ bunks, sleepin’ bags, rubber bathtubs and most everything that uh man can’t use in th’ hills. Also there is enough fancy grub to feed uh roundup. I manages to git them things off th’ jacks, and Magpie comes over and looks ’em over.
“My Gawd,” sez he. “This is th’ limit, hammered to uh sharp point. What’ll we do with ’em, Ike?”
“Yore uh competent,” sez I. “Don’t ask me what to do, Magpie Simpson. Is th’ perfessor’s squaw goin’ to git supper?”
“She is not, and yuh might call me by my right name. Th’ perfessor sez that he was informed by Mister Henderson that Mister Harper is th’ best culinary artist in th’ State. Uh culinary artist is uh polite name fer uh bull cook, Ike.”
“Sounds re-fined, anyway,” I agrees. “But some uh these day’s I’m goin’ to git my meat-hooks on Ricky Henderson, and there’s goin’ to be sorrow in th’ Henderson tribe. Culinary artist ——! Can’t th’ doctor cook?”