He lied on registration day—
Conscription's law he'll not obey.
He seeks the nuptial vows to take,
Or any other useless fake.
Whatever else, he'll never fight.
He has the Slacker's ear-marks right.
Oh, what a useless, shameless pest,
A blot on human kind at best.
His feelings are for SELF alone.
He would not give a dog the bone.
Behold his attitude—his pose.
The Slacker's ring is in his nose.
For country's call—for country's sake—
For Liberty he will not stake
His bit, nor will he ever be
But half a man. Not he—not he.
His formula contains no sand—
It's plain, he is the Slacker "Brand."
A sneak—a snake—a cur—a blasted
Dirty rotten scourge, dodgasted
Coward, thief, and all the rest—
Can't spell the name that suits the best.
There's just one place for such as he—
Not on the earth—eternity.
PREPAREDNESS
I never had no warlike mind,
I b'long to the plowin' peaceful kind
Thet stays at home and works along,
Sun to sun—I'm good and strong—-
But, neighbor, let me speak my mind:
When my country sez to back her,
Sez I back: "Here ain't no slacker,"
So walks up thar and signs the roll,
Come June the first, thirty-one year ole,
Now Uncle Sammy can call Bill Jones
Jest any ole time they say,
'Cause yisterday I gits insured,
And jined the church today.
I hates to leave the old home-folks,
They hates to see me go,
But I'd rather tote a rifle,
Than be shoulderin' a hoe.
When Uncle Sammy's needin' men—
And needin' 'em so much,
I 'lows how he can call on Bill,
To help 'im lick them Dutch.
For preacher sez: "God will protect
Me out thar," so, then, by Heck!
I am all O.K.
'Cause yisterday I gits insured,
And jined the church today.
The paper 'lows the fightin's bad,
As awful as can be—
Guns a-roarin'—blood a-flowin'—
And boats belo' thet sea.
But I'm ready—and I ain't a-feered
To die—if they do git me.
'Cause I ain't no skunking slacker,
If I am a "Georgia cracker,"
And if I don't come home no more,
The wolf won't come to my house door,
I am goin' when they say,
'Cause yisterday I gits insured,
And jined the church today.
"BEANS"
A dog there lived in many towns,
And he has wondrous wiles;
He travels in the Philippines,
And visits many isles.