It may be a fable, but history records
This defeat of the "Fowl of Great Boasting Words."
How the "Prussian Black Eagle" that thought he could scratch,
Found in "Old Baldy" far more than his match.
"KAISER BILL"
There's a Guy across the Sea,
And the "Devil's own" is he.
Death! Destruction! Misery!
That's the Kaiser.
Don't you fancy he's a fool.
Satan ne'er had such a tool—
Whether demon, fiend or ghoul
As the Kaiser.
At the bottom of the ocean
Lie the victims of his notion.
Bathes in human blood for lotion
Does the Kaiser.
While his Teuton Choir sings,
In the military rings,
Of the "Divine Right of Kings."
Kaiser Bill.
Kinder erst, und den de vimmen—
Shood dem ub vile dey is schwimmen,
Den you gif der men a trimmen,
Kaiser Bill.
For der voorit must pe mine own,
So I'll pe der King alone,
Mit a unifersal throne
Kaiser Bill.
But we'll toss you out the tip,
(Though the censor seal the lip)
That he'll soon be "on the hip"—
Will the Kaiser.
For his submarines are sinking,
And his men in trenches, stinking,
While the Western world is linking
'Gainst the Kaiser.
He'll be picked up in a basket,
With a U-Boat for a casket,
And a name plate, if he ask it.
"KAISER BILL."
Then "submerge" in kerosene,
Kept in memory ever green
As the profligate, obscene
Kaiser Bill.
THE RAW RECRUIT
Ses Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
Be gob, ye're a bad 'un;
Now turn out your toes;
Yer belt is unhookit
Yer cap is on crookit
Ye may not be dhrunk,
But be jabers, ye look it;
Wan-two! Wan-two!
Ye monkey faced devil, I'll jolly ye through!
Wan-two! Time! Mark!
Ye march like the aigle in Cintheral Park.
Ses Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
A saint it ud sadden
To dhrill such a mug;
Eyes front! ye baboon ye!
Chin up! ye gossoon, ye!
Ye've jaws like a goat—
Halt! ye leather lipped loon, ye!
Wan-two! Wan-two!
Ye whiskered orang-outang, I'll fix you!
Wan-two! Time! Mark!
Ye've eyes like a bat, can ye see in the dark?