Will. That's not the business—but I perceive you have heard but a piece of the Story—you have not heard how the Ghost came to be rais'd nor how he was laid.
Ralph. Rais'd and Laid!—why then I warrant you take it to be nothing but a piece of Imposture.
Will. Nothing more certain,—a meer silly, idle, foppish contrivance of a Cabal of bigotted Papists.
Ralph. I must confess a Bigotted Papist is a very sottish sort of Animal.—But what did this deep design drive at?
Will. Why, Sir, a certain Vintner not far from Southampton Square, a well-wisher, you may be sure, to any Religion he could get by, had a mind to draw custome to his empty House—For he had a vast prospect of gain from the success of the Action,—For, quo he to himself, the people will cry, whether shall we go? Go! says another, we'l go to the Hobgoblin that counterfeited the Lord Russel's Ghost—for, thought he, everybody will be glad to see a Hobgoblin.
Ralph. Puh—this is some invention of yours to put a trick upon the poor Papists.
Will. An Invention of mine! Tis all about the Town—and besides, there is nothing more common among the Papists than to counterfeit Spirits and Ghosts—I find you never read the Story of the four Monks of Bearn in Switzerland, that were hang'd for counterfeiting the Virgin Mary; nor of the Country Curate that lay with his Neece in the shape of St. Barbara. But the Fryer had not so good luck: For he living in a young widow's House, would fain have frighted the young Widow into his Lascivious Embraces—and to that purpose haunted her chamber every Night in a Winding Sheet: But she, being a Woman of mettle, hid a Friend of hers privately in her chamber, that gave the Spirit such a severe Cudgel-correction, as made him quickly beg Quarter for his bruised Bones.
Ralph. But all this while, where was the Profundity of the design?
Will. The profundity of the Design was to put the Lord Russel's Speech upon Dr. Burnett—And of this they were resolv'd to have an acknowledgment out of the Lord Russel's own Mouth.