Two Ways of Mending Ways
The Rev. Mr. M——, of Bathgate, came up to a street pavior one day, and addressed him: "Eh, John, what's this you're at?"
"Oh! I'm mending the ways of Bathgate!"
"Ah, John, I've long been tryin' to mend the ways o' Bathgate, an' they're no' weel yet."
"Weel, Mr. M——, if you had tried my plan, and come doon to your knees, ye wad maybe hae come maar speed!"
The Prophet's Chamber
A Scotch preacher, being sent to officiate one Sunday at a country parish, was accommodated at night in the manse in a very diminutive closet, instead of the usual best bedroom appropriated to strangers.
"Is this the bedroom?" he said, starting back in amazement.
"'Deed, ay, sir; this is the prophet's chamber."