"It must be for the minor prophets, then," said the discomfited parson.
Objecting to Long Sermons
A minister in the north was taking to task one of his hearers who was a frequent defaulter, and was reproaching him as an habitual absentee from public worship. The accused vindicated himself on the plea of a dislike to long sermons.
"'Deed, man," said his reverend minister, a little nettled at the insinuation thrown out against himself, "if ye dinna mend, ye may land yerself where ye'll no' be troubled wi' mony sermons, either lang or short."
"Weel, aiblins sae," retorted John, "but it mayna be for want o' ministers."
A Serious Dog and for a Serious Reason
A Highland gamekeeper, when asked why a certain terrier, of singular pluck, was so much more solemn than the other dogs, said: "Oh, sir, life's full o' sairiousness to him—he first can never get enuff o' fechtin'."
A Clever "Turn"
Lord Elibank, the Scotch peer, was told that Dr. Johnson, in his dictionary, had defined oats to be food for horses in England and for men in Scotland. "Ay," said his lordship, "and where else can you find such horses and such men?"
Entrance Free, and "Everything Found"