His great success half drove him mad,
But no one seemed to mind him;
Well, in another piece he had
Another part assigned him.
This part was smaller, by a bit,
Than that in which he made a hit.
So, much ill-used, he straight refused
To play the part assigned him.
* * * * * * * *
That night that actor slept, and I’ll attempt
To tell you of the vivid dream he dreamt.
THE DREAM.
In fighting with a robber band
(A thing he loved sincerely)
A sword struck Gibbs upon the hand,
And wounded it severely.
At first he didn’t heed it much,
He thought it was a simple touch,
But soon he found the weapon’s bound
Had wounded him severely.
To Surgeon Cobb he made a trip,
Who’d just effected featly
An amputation at the hip
Particularly neatly.
A rising man was Surgeon Cobb
But this extremely ticklish job
He had achieved (as he believed)
Particularly neatly.
The actor rang the surgeon’s bell.
“Observe my wounded finger,
Be good enough to strap it well,
And prithee do not linger.
That I, dear sir, may fill again
The Theatre Royal Drury Lane:
This very night I have to fight—
So prithee do not linger.”
“I don’t strap fingers up for doles,”
Replied the haughty surgeon;
“To use your cant, I don’t play rôles
Utility that verge on.
First amputation—nothing less—
That is my line of business:
We surgeon nobs despise all jobs
Utility that verge on
“When in your hip there lurks disease”
(So dreamt this lively dreamer),
“Or devastating caries
In humerus or femur,
If you can pay a handsome fee,
Oh, then you may remember me—
With joy elate I’ll amputate
Your humerus or femur.”
The disconcerted actor ceased
The haughty leech to pester,
But when the wound in size increased,
And then began to fester,
He sought a learned Counsel’s lair,
And told that Counsel, then and there,
How Cobb’s neglect of his defect
Had made his finger fester.