The Derby Day sun glittered gaily on cads,
On maidens with gamboge hair,
On sharpers and pickpockets, swindlers and pads,
(For I, with my harp, was there).
And Jimmy went down with his Jane that day,
And John by the collar or nape
Seized everybody who came in his way
(And I had a narrow escape).
He noticed his Emily Jane with Jim,
And envied the well-made elf;
And people remarked that he muttered “Oh, dim!”
(I often say “dim!” myself).
John dogged them all day, without asking their leaves;
For his sergeant he told, aside,
That Jimmy and Jane were notorious thieves
(And I think he was justified).
But James wouldn’t dream of abstracting a fork,
And Jenny would blush with shame
At stealing so much as a bottle or cork
(A bottle I think fair game).
But, ah! there’s another more serious crime!
They wickedly strayed upon
The course, at a critical moment of time
(I pointed them out to John).
The constable fell on the pair in a crack—
And then, with a demon smile,
Let Jenny cross over, but sent Jimmy back
(I played on my harp the while).
Stern Johnny their agony loud derides
With a very triumphant sneer—
They weep and they wail from the opposite sides
(And I shed a silent tear).
And Jenny is crying away like mad,
And Jimmy is swearing hard;
And Johnny is looking uncommonly glad
(And I am a doggerel bard).
But Jimmy he ventured on crossing again
The scenes of our Isthmian Games—
John caught him, and collared him, giving him pain
(I felt very much for James).