At his monstrous error,

That he stammered an apology and made his 'scape,

The picture of a disconcerted Ape.

With a view to rise in the social scale,

He shaved his bristles, and he docked his tail,

He grew moustachios, and he took his tub,

And he paid a guinea to a toilet club.

But it would not do,

The scheme fell through—