This is a great thing, but it is very hard to begin again as a regimental subaltern after nearly eleven years' hard work. However, I am very fond of the profession, and there is much to be done, and much learnt, and, under any other circumstances, I should not regret being with English soldiers again for a time. Every one believes that I shall soon be righted, but the "soon" is a long time coming. I was much gratified the other day by an unexpected visit from Mr. Charles Raikes, one of the Punjaub Commissioners, who was passing through Umbâla, on his way to take a high appointment at Agra. I had no personal knowledge of him, but he came out of his way to call upon me, and express his sympathy and his appreciation of (what he was pleased to call) my high character.
He said much that was encouraging and pleasing, which I need not repeat. It served pleasantly, however, to show that the tide was turning, and that in good men's minds my character stood as high as ever.
In addition to his other troubles, my brother was suffering all this time from a dislocated ankle. He says in June:—
I have nothing to tell you of myself, save that I have to-day, for the first time for eight weeks, put my foot to the ground; I cannot, however, yet walk a yard without crutches.
Dugshai, Sept. 24th, 1856.
I strive to look the worst boldly in the face as I would an enemy in the field, and to do my appointed work resolutely and to the best of my ability, satisfied that there is a reason for all; and that even irksome duties well done bring their own reward, and that if not, still they are duties.
But it is sometimes hard to put up with the change! I am getting a little stronger on my ankle, but am still unable, at the end of five months, to do more than walk about the house. Fancy my not being able to walk 200 yards for half a year.
Dugshai, Nov. 6th.