XIX
A Lesson in Eugenics
To Editor N. Y. Newsprint, who will please be more careful about choosing his ancestors in the future,
Dear Sir:—Last Wedsday night I got feeling of lonesome matrimony, so I put on Tuxedo slippers and necktie resembling Vogue. I was not sure which lady I intended for marry, but I go see Miss Tessie Matsuki because I could get there without carfare. This Matsuki lady live over store of her father, Hon. J. W. Matsuki, Japanese hay & grain. She got considerable Vassar intelligence and would make nice wife for librarian.
I found her by lamplight wearing goldly spectacles while reading enlarged volume entitle “Eugenic.”
She felt my biceps while shaking hands & seem to examine my hair for criminal traits. I ask her would she like go see emotion picture show with my accompaniment. She say no. She prefer set stationary and talk about Future Race. I explan that I did not keep up pretty well with sporty events, but my Cousin Nogi were entirely educated about racing & baseball. She give high-up laugh of culture.
“Future Race are not sporty event,” she define. “It are Eugenic.”
“I got no time to think foreign languages,” I say so while admiring her sweethearted expression with Garden of Allah sensation. “I come here to ask some big importance. Would it be convenient to get married?”
“It would be no trouble however,” she report for smiling.
“O then we shall!” I holla while attempting to hold her handclasp, but she snatch it to herself.
“If suitable I shall include you on waiting list,” she snuggest.