“You expect my ancestors to die from being too healthy?” I ask to know. “Perhapsly Hon. Eugene who wrote that book will teach us how to do so.”
“He expects to arrange everything,” she compose proudishly. “His speciality will be marriage. Youngly persons will be selected carefully like Luther Burbank choose best potatoes for crop.”
“Will this Hon. Eugene make some new marriage ceremony?” I otter.
“That have been arrange also,” she tell. “When 2 Eugeniuses wish get married following program will be enjoyed:
“Joy-bells will be jungled from tip-top of gymnasium where members of Board of Health will act as Ushers, admitting relatives after examining their tonsils. Talented vaudeville performers will play ‘Weddlesohn’s Mending March’ on Indian clubs while Bride & Bridebroom, wearing Annit Kellerman bathing suits to show no deception had been concealed, will walk up aisle hand-in-hand with parents wearing rubber gloves. Bride must not blush, because that are sign of weak heart and Bridebroom must not seem nervus, because that indicate tendency to allipeptic fits. After dumb-bell drill Rev. Preacher will step uply.”
“What Rev. Preacher will do this ceremony?” I inquest.
“Not sure,” she negotiate. “Perhaps Rev. Billy Sunday might do, because of muscular religion.”
“What shall this marriage service say?” is next question for me.
“It say following dialog:
Rev. Mr.——, Do you love this woman?