My cousin Nogi, who arrive there with Miss Alice Sago (divorced) approach to me and wish I should Turkey-waltz with her because he was lame from when she kicked him. I told him I was a Methodist heathen, therefore my feet was too religious to dance.
“Turk-waltzing are denatured dancing,” arrange Miss Sago with alimony smiles. “Come, Mr. Togo, I show you how do it!” So I went and stroggled.
Mr. Editor, while I made gymnastix with that charmed lady, I wished send you several editorials. What are this Turkey-Waltz, I ask to know? Were it invented by Turks at Adrianople while wrastling with the Vulgarian army? Did Turkish soldiers think up that peculiarostous step while rolling barrels of powder at Greece? Why should persons blame Turks with this style of trotting if they never did it? Mohammedans has got sifficient bad habits of their own without accusing them of some more!
This Miss Sago shove me here & elsewhere with neglectful expression peculiar to roustabouts. When music play “All Persons Are Doing Something” she attemp to dissociate my spine by wig-wagging my elbows.
“Make your ankles more diagonal!” she declare with sweety schoolteacher face. I wish to ask her marry me, but wondered what might happen if I did. I make slight jiu jitsu to her wrist, but she got more stronger grippe while I jounce alternately like tables in earthquakes.
“My feet are filled with clumsies,” I narrate baffably.
“That are very valuable in Turk-trotting,” she say for sweetly smiling.
“So is?” I holla. “I always sipposed folks must be graceful to make dance step.”
“They ust to, but no more,” she expose. “All fashionable 400s today when dancing considers it great elegance to appear like drunken sailors wrestling with bears.”
I should have responded to her educational catalogue, but she was showing me new jag-step where I could elevate my knees to music while being choked.