Wed.—Toot-whistle, anchor-fleet, boom-salute—hurrah! Hon. Mr. Mayor Taylor & High Governor Gilette go-see Flagship Conn. “How-do, Adm. Evans!” Fleet shake-hands with yackts, tug-boats, ferry-boats & all official vehicles. Hon. Evans come shore. Salutes. Honk-auto to Hotel Fairmont where Adm. Evans meet Mrs. Evans. More salutes. All Hon. Officers come march-in with un-officered excitement. Quiet bouquets. By evening Hon. Sec. Metcalf enjoy grand waltz-time Hotel Fairmont. I am not familiar with when this was expected to burst up.
Thur.—Awful important parade along line of march including National Guard and other private carriages. American standing army was included in this together with such Generals as was there. All blue-jackets, marines & officers march in this; but Hon. Battleboats did not come ashore, because they could not do. Market Street all bunted with red, white & blue & 4th of July enjoyed by all. Fatigue of march was added to by speeches. By evening some more waltz-time for Hon. Officers. Hon. Sailors must not be careless about steam-beer. All burst up by early clock.
Fri.—All go visit Hon. America Fleet. Great relays of persons in boat-loads because everybody was anxious. Visitors including of College Presidents, Labouring Unions, Society, Persons & many more. Special reception was gave to 1,000 Japanese Spies which came with kodaks.
Sat.—This day has not arrived yet; but we expect it.
Mr. Editor, I am anxious to where them Hon. Fleet will next go by departure. Will Japan be visited firstly & then some Christian country, or will it be visa-vis? I ask to know, because way them Fleet act are highly probable to Japanese Schoolboy.
Will you please wrote letter to Hon. Metcalf inflaming him about not having them Hon. Fleet go visit China? After U. S. Navy have saw Japan she will not care go China, I say it because. Japan are a deliciously arranged country with hot & cold water in all rivers and streams. Japan are picturesque with addition of all modern improvement. America tourist can go top of anteek temple Nara, by all-night elevator service. 2c tip for this. Geisha-girl do quaint dance to Edison phonograph musick. Jinrikisha run by gasolene motor make very speed time. Japan are a very antiseptick island full of Art. America fleeters will enjoy this & buy souvenirs for minus price. Pleasant farewell, Hon. America, & no fights with Togo.
“‘But China!! Such eye-pain of nations.’”
But China!! Such eye-pain of Nations where virtues is considerably extolled upon hon. tablets of ansisters, but them hon. relicks is seldom washed, so that they can’t not be read. That is one kingdom where enlightenment is unacquainted, where derby hats is unknown, where book-keeping & stenography is not even worshipped for its good qualities! Entire towns & counties of them ignorant kingdom is gave over to pipe-hitting ceremony of opium sniff, which is a insiderous poison that give sweet imagination which is followed by entire unfitness for feetball, predatory wealth and anything else what is useful & American. I give you my entire insurance, Mr. Editor, China are a race of pig-tail mollycuddles. Why should civilized kingdom wish to retain open door with China? It would be more delicate to close such a door & keep off pungus odour of opium-smoke & heathen punk-stick.
There is two kind of Heathens, Mr. Editor. One kind worship gods what is placed on tiled pedistals of Portland Cement & treated with hydrogen peroxide to remove affectionate germs. Other kind of Heathens adore idles made of wood, which it are a sacrilage to scrub, because it would remove sacred associations including typhoid, tuberculosis & social unrest.