“If a mere feet-race can’t start a war, nothing can. Who can imagine them two great & dignified peoples making such hell-baloo over seal-fisheries or boundery-line between U. S. & Canada or small trifle like annexation of Ireland? Did Brittish publick stand around and yall ‘Boo!’ to rattle American diplomat during contest of Hay-Pauncefaute treaty? Ah no! But when a craven foe land on Brittish soil to peril sacred rite of hop-skip-and-jump what son of Brittania so callus not to scream?”
“I got a poem,” I say for headache. “It sound delicious in Japanese—therefore excuse following translation:
INTERNATIONAL CEMENT
The Lion to the Eagly say, “We two is one same feather;
We done too much of sware & fite—now let us play together.”
So on them nice Olympus road they meet some games to try out—
The Eagly-bird he watch his chance & scrape them Lion’s eye out.
“Fowl play!” all Lion Cubs they cry; so all them beasts they pair off
And Lion claws make feathers fly while Eagly’s tear-off hair-off.
Them Lion-dog make rory-rores as in the race he led off