“Because-so,” say Hon. Asassin, “by sufficient bombing, shoot-gun & poison of soup I expect to rid Hon. World of its entire rulers.”
“Such childhood thought!” I decline. “When you kill Hon. Emperor, what happen? There is still Hon. President. When you kill Hon. President, how yet? There is still Hon. Sec. of State. Him asassinated, then there remain House of Representators, which might be blew up, but Governors of all States must be also exploded, to remove rulers. Then which? Then there is Mayors of towns to gunpowder, then political Boss of each election district. When them is erupted Hon. Aldermans must enjoy gunshot wound. They are dead. What next? Then city hall employees, street cleaning department, board of healthful & all clerks of city treasury. All buried with funerals. Oh my! We have forgot to dynamite Hon. Police Department. That are a job for considerable chemicals, but it can be done by patient bombing. Pretty soonly nothing of Hon. Police but smoke & occasional brass buttons as souvenirs. What then? Each grown man with American moustache arise to wife and say, ‘I am ruler of this homested!’ Bang for him! Pretty good job of explosion. After this, basso voice of mans is very hard to hear. No gentlemans left in Hon. World except small collection of Hon. Anarchists which is all running for President on Independent ticket.”
“And what must ensue then?” aggrope Hon. Anarchist with bomb.
“Then,” I snuggest, “country must select ruler. Nothing to do but to elect one Anarchist, which do not believe in rulers. Therefore Anarchists boom bomb to each other till all are minus by decease.”
“Banzai!” say Anarchist. “When all are thus dead there will be nobody remaining to be rulers! Such ideal affairs!!”
“Such is wrong statistick,” I say. “When men is all dead, then will be fine politicks for Suffergettes.”
Hon. Anarchist hear this and disjoint himself with groans. When person sets out to explode all Rulers in this Hon. World we have got too large Fourth of July for Powder Trust to handle.
Hoping you will be in time for red flag before blow-off,
Yours truly,
Hashimura Togo.