“Where you obtain sufficient cash for such a ticket?” are suspicious question for Hashimura Togo.
“You are permitted to imagine that also,” dib Nogi for snub. “I are next discovered on main street of Sue Falls. It are 6 o’clock P. M. by time. With immediate quickness I make feetsteps to Court House. It are closed, thank you. ‘Where can persons buy a divorce so late & catch train?’ I require of Hon. Janitor at door-knob. ‘Hon. Justice of the Peace has nice fresh ones,’ explain Hon. Janitor for polite smile. By running I get there quick—but alast! too late. ‘My husband are away attending funeral of man he shot,’ say Mrs. Justice. ‘Howeverly, you can buy choice divorces from Hon. Notary Publick around corner.’ At home of Notary Publick I meet Office Lad who say, ‘Hon. Boss are away setting up with a ill horse.’ So I depart off entirely nervus about that Divorce I didn’t got.”
“What you do nextly to stop being married?” I compute.
“Nextly,” say Nogi, “I make aimlus wander through deserted streets. Despair for me. Of suddenly I see one news stand with large gilty sign,
“‘DIVORCES WHILE WAITING FOR THEM—$5 APIECE.’
“This are stiff price, but I must. Already by news stand are considerable line of 100 Americans talking at each other as if acquainted very dearly. I enquire of one Hon. Police who stood by, ‘Why does them Americans talk together so corjul?’
“‘It are a family reunion,’ collapse Hon. Police. ‘All of them persons is related to each other in some way & another—some by proxy, some by regret; husbands twice removed is talking to outlaws-in-law. Them tall gentleman with ottomobile glasses is Senator Guff. Lady he are talking with are his forgotten wife, now Mrs. Billings, who will marry Captain Swift, her chaperone, when both are freed from hated trammels they now endures.’
“‘On what grounds of domestick grief will they obtain their divorces on?’ are next for me.
“‘For $5,’ say Hon. Police who has been in Sue Falls for long time, ‘for $5 you can take your choice of following grounds:
“‘Failure to provide witty conversation.