“No can do, please!” I prefer.
“No to?” stagger Nogi for disappoint.
“Ah, no!” I relapse. “I should not desire to become famous for pants. Hon. Modesty is a Japanese characteristick.”
“Hon. Modesty is a disease,” corrode that Nogi with scornful snip; so he tell following myth of antique Japan which is a very favourite stories of Grandmothers to illustrate the Hon. Modesty.
In some way-back period of B. C. there reside at Kioto one Emperor by name of Motomatsu who was awful modest about it. When spoke of as Famous he became a very ill person. He was shy about publick banzai. When he depart out from Hon. Palace for auto-ride all loyal subjecks was lined up by pave to decry: “Banzai! Banzai! Such nice Emperor Motomatsu!” They then kneel upon their faces to signify it. But Hon. Motomatsu enjoy angry rage for such publick demonstrictions and decry: “So conspickerous!” while he kick loyal subjecks on skull. Because he was shy.
Pretty soonly he make sneek out of Palace by back door to avoid them noyful mob of shoutings. But one Grocery Boy seen him and observe to inquire: “Why do Kings go out by back doors when should not?” “Hush it!” say Motomatsu. “I am doing it so as not to be too famous.” So when he make pass-on them Grocery Boy go to all populus of Japan and decry: “Hon. Emperor is departing by back door!” Then 1,000,000 of them loyal subjecks assemblance to trademan entrance of Palace & peek to see—and sure of! Hon. Emperor again is saw making sneek-in to Palace. “Permit us to hail!” say peasantry, but Hon. Emperor relapse with peev: “Go hail somewheres else!” And he throw brick-bat to them.
So them Hon. Emperor get worse modest all time. Pretty soonly he borrow rag-clothing from beggerly man and wander forth in them disguise. But Hon. Populus, when they seen him, decry: “O look-see what has arrive! Our dear Emperor are ragged out to be a beggerly man! Is he not conspickerous in such a clothing? Ah, yes!” And they surround him with a program of dances, including exhibitions of jiu jitsu, resolutions of respeck, geisha waltz, speek, fireworks & baloon-races. Pretty soonly Carnegie Commission approach with brass medal of reward. “For what?” say Hon. Emperor. “For extreme shyness in action,” say Hon. Commission. By this Hon. Motomatsu is very disgust, so he cut off them Commission at neck, then he chop 1,000 loyal subjecks with ax and go back Palace.
But when them loyal subjecks pick up their heads what was chopped they say: “Sure is! Mr. Emperor must be modest about publick appearance. Quite well! Then we will cease hailing him, if he is so disagree.”
Next day when Hon. Emperor go off for walk, what! Such vacancy of street! He is queer to feel. He go back Palace with lonesome smile. “Maybe I am dress too silently to be seen,” he-say. So he put on uniform of Field Marshall & walk outside again. Nothing to do. Even little sparrow-birds is absent with banzais. “O mania! Have I quit being famous?” subtract that Motomatsu, losing some flesh for griefs. So by soon-time he make début to street in drum-major uniform recruited by very large brass band. But Hon. Publick is home reminding their own business. This are too much worry for Hon. Emperor who go bed & is attended by appendicitis. Pretty soonly he enjoy death and got a tomb near Kioto. In front of it are following inscription:
“Motomatsu have got his bones here.
He were a Good Advertiser;
But he Worked it too Hard.”