Mr. Editor, Hon. Modesty were a disease very common among Great Mens in antique Japan. In these here day modern insanitary methods of brushing off microbes have got rid of such shy germs pretty good. Yet Great Mens is still in some tiny danger of being bit by it. At White Palace of Washington Dr. Rickey must be in constant attendance with microscope to watch for it. Each President Message must be very careful fumigated—and on some days this are pretty much of a job, thank you.
By each morning-time Hon. President must have corner of eye-glasses, mustache & tooths examined for fearful that some Wyoming constituent might maybe brought in bashful germs that will get into Hon. Policies & spoil everything.
This Surgeon-Gen. Rickey must be a very worried person. Suppose he go cod-fishing some Sunday off & become carelus about them hon. microbes? Ah, fatal! Next morning he go to White Cabinet & discover Hon. President enjoying high temperature of terrible blushes.
“Sec. Loeb,” he are saying, “please turn to Nineteenth Interstate Proclamation, page 1102B, and attack it with blue pencil.”
“Quite good, Mr. Sire,” say them Hon. Loeb. “What to do with them words?”
“Scratch out all pronouns spelled with an ‘I’ and supply ‘American People’ for it,” say Hon. President.
“Will do,” say Hon. Sec. with nervous glance.
“Next substitute considerable changes. Change ‘My Policies’ to ‘Mr. Bryan’s Policies,’ change ‘My Navy’ to ‘Admiral Brownson’s Navy,’ change——”
Dr. Rickey stand at corner of room with horrors springing at knees. “It are my carelus fault—some scarce disease have got in through window!” he whisper to guilty self.
“Next turn attention to library of books,” say that Presidential Invalid. “Change ‘My Works’ to ‘Works of Divine Providence.’ Every time ‘Grizzly Bear’ are mention change it to ‘Grey Squirrel,’ change ‘Must Not’ to ‘Please Don’t,’ change——”