"Say," says I, "why in thunder don't you assert your independence?"
"Independence," he wailed, "why she won't even grant me home rule."
"What were you scrapping about just now?" says I.
"Well, you see," says he, "when I married her I told her I delighted in cleanliness. When I got home to-day, she told me she had just paid a dollar to have the coal bin scrubbed out and we expect a load of coal to-morrow. Then, too, she told me she had bought a dream of a hat at a bargain, and I asked her whether there ever was a time she didn't get a bargain, and she says: 'Yes, when I married you.'"
Well, late that night the unhappy couple got to scrapping again, and the worm turned and gave his wife a most unmerciful beating.
I thought he was going to kill her, so I went in search of a policeman.
I looked around for about an hour and finally located one talking to Billyon's cook.
"Say," says I, "you're wanted around the corner. A man has nearly killed his wife."