"How big is the man?" says he.

"Oh, he's bigger than you."

"Well," says he, "I'm sorry, old man, but it's off my beat."

I went to the race track the other day and met a bookmaker I know.

"Hello," says he. "What brings you here? Do you know anything?"

"No," says I, "if I did, I wouldn't be here."

I finally placed a small bet on a couple of horses, and when the first race was run off, anxiously watched the ponies.

They soon got so far away that I couldn't keep track of them, and noticing a fellow with a pair of field glasses next to me, who seemed to be seeing everything going on, I says: