Presentation “betel-leaf trees” (poko’ sirih), said to have been formerly carried in procession at weddings. These so-called “trees” are made of betel-leaves ingeniously arranged, and are called (from their patterns) sirih jantong (or “heart betel”); sirih gua (or “cave betel”); sirih palita (or “lamp betel”), the heart betel being on the left. The birds at the top of each “tree” are hornbills.
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Meanwhile the bridegroom persists until his efforts are crowned with success, and he makes his way (assisted possibly by some well-meant act of treachery on the part of the garrison) to the reception room, when the mat already referred to is unrolled and the white cloth suspended over it. Here the bridegroom takes his seat and the priest comes out to perform the wedding ceremony.[89] This, strangely enough, is performed with the bridegroom alone, the priest saying to him in the presence of three or four witnesses and his surety (wali), generally his father, “I wed you, A., to B., daughter of C., for a portion of two bharas.” To this the bridegroom has to respond without allowing an interval, “I accept this marriage with B., for a portion of two bharas” (or one bhara if one of the parties has been married before). Even this short sentence, however, is a great deal too much for the nerves of some Malay bridegrooms, who have been known to spend a couple of hours in abortive attempts before they could get the Imām to “pass” it. As soon, however, as this obstacle has been surmounted, the priest asks those present if they will bear witness to its correctness, and on their replying in the affirmative, it is followed by the “bacha salawat,” which consists of repeated shouts from the company of “Peace be with thee.” This part of the ceremony completed, one of the brothers or near relations of the bridegroom leads him into the bridal chamber, and seats him in the usual cross-legged position on the left side of the bride, who sits with her feet tucked up on his right. Even the process of seating the couple (bĕrsanding) is a very fatiguing one; each of them has to bend the knees slowly until a sitting posture is reached, and then return to a standing posture by slowly straightening the knees, a gymnastic exercise which has to be repeated thrice, and which requires the assistance of friends.[90]
The seating having been accomplished, friends put in the right hands of bride and bridegroom respectively handfuls of rice taken from the nasi sĕtakona; with this the two feed each other simultaneously, each of them reaching out the hand containing the rice to the other’s mouth. (This part of the ceremony is often made the occasion for a race.)
The bridegroom is then carried off by his friends to the outer chamber, where he has to pay his respects (minta’ maʿaf, lit. “ask pardon”) to the company, after which he is carried back to his old post, the bride in the meantime having moved off a little in the mosquito curtain.
The sweetmeats are then brought and handed round, the sĕtakona is broken up, and the bundles of rice wrapped in plantain leaves which it contains distributed to the company as largess or bĕrkat. Each of the company gets one of the tĕlor chachak, the tĕlor joran being reserved for the Imām and any person of high rank who may attend, e.g. a Raja.[91]
This completes the wedding ceremony, but the bridegroom is nominally expected to remain under the roof (and eye) of his mother-in-law for about two years (reduced to forty-four days in the case of “royalty”), after which he may be allowed to remove to a house of his own. No Kathi[92] was present until quite recently at marriages in Selangor, nor has it in the past been the practice, so far as I could find out, for him to attend. Sir S. Raffles gives as part of the formula used in Java:—“If you travel at sea for a year, or ashore for six months, without sending either money or message to your wife, she will complain to the judge and obtain one talak (the preliminary stage of divorce),” and this condition should, strictly speaking, be included in the Malay formula. It is now growing obsolete, but was in former days repeated first by the priest, and then by the bridegroom after him. The marriage portion (isi kahwin, Arabic mahar) is here generally called b’lanja kahwin or mas kahwin.[93] No wedding-ring should, strictly, be given.
For three days lustrations are continued by the newly-married pair, but before they are completed, and as soon as possible after the wedding, friends and acquaintances once more put on their finery, and proceed to the house to pay their respects, to bathe, and to receive largess.
On the third day after the hari langsong there is a very curious ceremony called mandi tolak bala, or mandi ayer salamat (bathing for good luck).
On the night in question the relatives of the bridegroom assemble under cover of the darkness and make a bonfire under the house of the newly-married couple by collecting and burning rubbish; into the fire thus kindled they throw cocoa-nut husks and pepper, or anything likely to make it unpleasant for those within, and presently raise such a smoke that the bridegroom comes hastily down the steps, ostensibly to see what is the matter, but as soon as he makes his appearance, he is seized by his relatives and carried off bodily to his own parents’ house; these proceedings being known as the stealing of the bridegroom (churi pĕngantin). Next day there is a grand procession to escort him back to the house of his bride, which he reaches about one o’clock in the afternoon, the processionists carrying “Rice of the Presence” (nasi adap-adap) with the eggs stuck into it as on the last day of the wedding, two sorts of holy water in pitchers, called respectively ayer salamat (water of good luck), and ayer tolak bala (water to avert ill-luck), vases of flowers (gumba) containing blossom-spikes of the cocoa-nut and areca-nut palms, and young cocoa-nut leaves rudely plaited into the semblance of spikes of palm-blossom, k’risses, etc. etc., together with a large number of rude syringes manufactured from joints of bamboo, and called panah ayer, or “water-bows.”