The first Patriarch Balls were given in the winters of 1872 and 1873. At this period, a great personage (representing a silent power that had always been recognized and felt in this community, so long as I remember, by not only fashionable people, but by the solid old quiet element as well) had daughters to introduce into society, which brought her prominently forward and caused her at once to take a leading position. She possessed great administrative power, and it was soon put to good use and felt by society. I then, for the first time, was brought in contact with this grande dame, and at once recognized her ability, and felt that she would become society’s leader, and that she was admirably qualified for the position.
It was not long before circumstances forced her to assume the leadership, which she did, and which she has held with marked ability ever since, having all the qualities necessary,—good judgment and a great power of analysis of men and women, a thorough knowledge of all their surroundings, a just appreciation of the rights of others, and, coming herself from an old Colonial family, a good appreciation of the value of ancestry; always keeping it near her, and bringing it in, in all social matters, but also understanding the importance and power of the new element; recognizing it, and fairly and generously awarding to it a prominent place. Having a great fortune, she had the ability to conceive and carry out social projects; and this she has done, always with success, ever ready to recognize ability and worth, and give to it advice and assistance. Above all things, a true and loyal friend in sunshine or shower. Deeply interested in the welfare of this city, she lent herself to any undertaking she felt worthy of her support, and once promising it her aid, she could be always relied on and always found most willing to advance its interests. With such a friend, we felt the Patriarchs had an additional social strength that would give them the solidity and lasting powers which they have shown they possess. Whenever we required advice and assistance on or about them, we went to her, and always found ourselves rewarded in so doing by receiving suggestions that were invaluable. Quick to criticise any defect of lighting or ornamentation, or arrangement, she was not backward in chiding the management for it, and in this way made these balls what they were in the past, what they are in the present, and what we hope they may be in the future.
The Patriarchs, from their very birth, became a great social feature. You could but read the list of those who gave these balls, to see at a glance that they embraced not only the smart set, but the old Knickerbocker families as well; and that they would, from the very nature of the case, representing the best society of this great commercial city, have to grow and enlarge. Applications to be made Patriarchs poured in from all sides; every influence was brought to bear to secure a place in this little band, and the pressure was so great that we feared the struggle would be too fierce and engender too much rancor and bad feeling, and that this might of itself destroy them. The argument against them, the one most strongly urged, was that they were overturning all old customs; that New Yorkers had been in the habit of taking an active part in society only when they had daughters to bring out, lancée-ing their daughters, and they themselves taking a back seat. But that here in this new association, the married women took a more prominent place than the young girls; they were the belles of the balls, and not the young girls. This was Europeanizing New York too rapidly.
Hearing all this, and fearing we would grow unpopular, to satisfy the public we at once got up a new association, wholly for the young girls, and called it The Family Circle Dancing Class. Its name would in itself explain what it was, a small gathering of people in a very small and intimate way, so that unless one was in close intimacy with those getting up these dances, they would have no possible claim to be included in them. Any number of small subscription parties had been formed, such as “The Ancient and Honorables,” “The New and Notables,” “The Mysterious,” and “The Fortnightlies.” All had been most enjoyable, but short-lived. The F. C. D. C’s. were to be, in fact, “Junior Patriarchs,” under the same management, and were to be cherished and nourished by the same organization. They were given at first in six private houses. The first was held at Mr. William Butler Duncan’s; the second at Mr. Ward McAllister’s; the third at Mr. De Lancey Kane’s; the fourth at Mr. William Astor’s; the fifth at Mr. George Henry Warren’s, and the sixth at Mr. Lewis Colford Jones’s. I gave mine in my house in West Nineteenth Street, and then saw what it was to turn a house inside out for a ball, and how contracted everything must necessarily be in a twenty-five foot house, to receive guests in it, give them a salle de danse and a supper room, and then concluded that we must go in most cases to a good-sized ball-room to give an enjoyable dance.
From the first, these dances were very popular. They gave the Patriarch balls the relief they required, and were rapidly growing in favor and threatened in the end to become formidable rivals of the Patriarchs. The same pains were taken in getting them up, as were given to the Patriarchs. We had them but for one season in private houses, and then gave them at Dodworth’s, now Delmonico’s. Later on, when this house changed hands and became Delmonico’s, we gave them all there, with the exception of one winter when we gave them in the foyers of the Metropolitan Opera House. We made the subscription to them an individual subscription, each lady and gentleman subscribing $12.00 for the three balls. One of them at Delmonico’s we made a “Mother Goose” Ball. It was a species of fancy dress ball, powdered hair being de rigueur for all ladies who did not wear fancy costumes, and the feature of the occasion was the “Mother Goose” Quadrille, which had been planned and prepared with much skill and taste. This Quadrille was made up of sixteen couples and was danced at eleven o’clock. As those who danced in it passed you as they marched from the hall into the ball-room, you found it a beautiful sight truly. Many of the men wore pink. Some of the characters were droll indeed. Among others, “Tom, Tom, the Piper’s son,” with his traditional pig; “A man in the moon, who had come down too soon”; one lady as “Twinkle, twinkle, little star”; “Mother Hubbard,” in an artistic costume of scarlet chintz; “Mary, Mary, quite contrary”; “Little Bo-Peep,” “The Maid in the garden hanging out the clothes,” “Punch and Judy”; “Oranges and Lemons”; while M. de Talleyrand appeared as a mignon of Henry the Second. “Mother Goose” herself was also there. The feature of the evening was the singing of the nursery rhymes. The second was the “Pinafore” Quadrille introducing the music of that operetta. All the men who danced in it were in sailor’s dress. Then followed a Hunting Quadrille, in which every man wore a scarlet coat.
I little knew what I was undertaking when I started these F. C. D. C. Balls. From the giving of the first of these dances, out of a private house, to the time of my giving them up, I had no peace either at home or abroad. I was assailed on all sides, became in a sense a diplomat, committed myself to nothing, promised much and performed as little as possible. I saw at once the rock on which we must split: that the pressure would be so great to get in, no one could resist it; that our parties must become too general, and that in the end the smart set would give up going to them. I knew that when this occurred, they were doomed; but I fought for their existence manfully, and if I could here narrate all I went through to keep these small parties select, I would fill a volume. My mornings were given up to being interviewed of and about them; mothers would call at my house, entirely unknown to me, the sole words of introduction being, “Kind sir, I have a daughter.” These words were cabalistic; I would spring up, bow to the ground, and reply: “My dear madam, say no more, you have my sympathy; we are in accord; no introduction is necessary; you have a daughter, and want her to go to the F. C. D. C’s. I will do all in my power to accomplish this for you; but my dear lady, please understand, that in all matters concerning these little dances I must consult the powers that be. I am their humble servant; I must take orders from them.” All of which was a figure of speech on my part. “May I ask if you know any one in this great city, and whom do you know? for to propitiate the powers that be, I must be able to give them some account of your daughter.” This was enough to set my fair visitor off. The family always went back to King John, and in some instances to William the Conqueror. “My dear madam,” I would reply, “does it not satisfy any one to come into existence with the birth of one’s country? In my opinion, four generations of gentlemen make as good and true a gentleman as forty. I know my English brethren will not agree with me in this, but, in spite of them, it is my belief.” With disdain, my fair visitor would reply, “You are easily satisfied, sir.” And so on, from day to day, these interviews would go on; all were Huguenots, Pilgrims, or Puritans. I would sometimes call one a Pilgrim in place of a Puritan, and by this would uncork the vials of wrath. If they had ever lived south of Mason and Dixon’s line, their ancestor was always a near relative of Washington, or a Fairfax, or of the “first families of Virginia.” Others were more frank, and claimed no ancestry, but simply wished to know “how the thing was to be done.” When our list was full, all comers were told this, but this did not stop them. I was then daily solicited and prayed to give them the first vacancy. I did the best in my power, found out who people were, and if it was possible asked them to join.
The little dances were most successful. Year by year they improved. They were handsomer each season. We were not content with the small buffet in the upper ball-room at Delmonico’s, but supped, as did the Patriarchs, in the large room on Fifth Avenue and Twenty-sixth Street, and literally had equally as good suppers, leaving out terrapin and canvasback. But when the ladies organized Assembly Balls, we then thought that there would perhaps be too many subscription balls, and the F. C. D. C. was given up.
At this time, when the F. C. D. C.’s were in high favor, I received the following amusing anonymous lines of and about them:
He does not reign in Russia cold,
Nor yet in far Cathay,
But o’er this town he’s come to hold
An undisputed sway.
When in their might the ladies rose,
“To put the Despot down,”
As blandly as Ah Sin, he goes
His way without a frown.