For there is a peculiarly conscious human joy in feeling, in at least comparative calmness, the ineffable bliss of just one other human being, a joy of which no lover can ever, in wildest phantasy, dream, a joy that mere simultaneity can never give.
Marital success demands succession.
§ 114
It may be said that it is characteristic of woman’s motherly and unselfish nature that, in her utter surrender to her husband lover, she is willing to make the sacrifice of giving him all and taking nothing herself except the vicarious satisfaction of pleasing him. That has indeed been the preachment, undoubtedly originating with selfish males, for centuries of repression of erotism in women.
But its results are only conscious and superficial. Unconsciously, and that means with nine-tenths of her available energy, she is unable to do this thing. Nine-tenths of her very being, whether she is aware of it or not, revolts at the monumental injustice of this arrangement.
Women of high moral and intellectual attainments can so coerce their unconscious erotic instincts as to appear on the surface completely in control of themselves. But what virile lover would wish them so, just for the purpose of maintaining himself in a perpetual state of mental autoerotism?
Succession in this order more than doubles the joy of marital fusion, and does so by stressing the psychical or hypersomatic factor of the episode. It is an arrangement of the love drama that is peculiarly human and once attained will never be abandoned.
It is a technique depending entirely on the husband’s absolute control of the erotic situation. He will have almost every factor in the total situation against him—his own instincts and those of his wife, which, on the principle of biological testing carried on unconsciously by the woman will help make this attainment difficult for him; but it is the true test of virile marital love.
It will be replied by the average husband that he simply cannot accomplish this feat, that it is against Nature, and that physicians have told him nothing should be allowed to interfere with the speedy attainment of his desires once he is on the path.
But a little reflection will show the incomparable superiority in every way of this completely virile technique.