The only thing I get out of this is I have the “Thrown Away Crutch Privilege.” If you don’t get well and throw away your Invalid Chair or crutches I get nothing out of it, so that is why we give you a square deal. If you are not cured, I don’t get your Crutches. There is no other resort in the World that works on that small a margin.
W. J. Bryan drank one drink of this Water and turned against Liquor. Senator La Follette drank two drinks of it and turned against everything. So remember Claremore, The Carlsbad of America, where the ’Frisco Railroad crosses the Iron Mountain Railroad, not often, but every few days.
THE END
Transcriber’s note
Spelling and punctuation have been retained as published. Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been standardized.
The use of italics on the title of Illiterate Digest has been standardized where applicable.
The following printer errors have been changed.
| CHANGED | FROM | TO | |
| Page [15]: | ““Drain Their Corn Liquor” | ““Drain Their Corn Liquor”” | |
| Page [122]: | “siutated near any Body” | “situated near any Body” | |
| Page [229]: | “were equally responsbile” | “were equally responsible” | |
| Page [272]: | “appointed him to settle” | “appointed him to settle.” | |
| Page [317]: | “record of his time” | “record of his time.” |