In the early part of my acquaintance with her, as a medical man, she probably had more confidence in my integrity and skill than in those of any other living individual. She had been early left an orphan; and I was among the first—perhaps the very first—to take the attitude towards her of a true father. Such kindness, and especially such paternal care, never fail to make their impression.
"Love, and love only, is the loan for love."
At this early sympathizing period, had I been more faithful, I might, perhaps, have saved her. But I was remiss—disposed to delay. I waited, a thousand times, for a better opportunity. I waited till the favorable moment—ay, the only moment—had passed by.
Physicians often err here. God gives to many individuals the most unbounded confidence in medical men; and this remarkable provision of his has a deep meaning. It is not, however, to the intent that they should abuse the influence thus secured to them, by filling their patients' stomachs with pills and powders; but for such purposes, rather, as have been indicated by the general tenor of the foregoing remarks. It is that they may give them wise paternal counsel and sound physiological and pathological instruction.
Such counsel and such instruction were indeed given to Miss L., but not to that extent which the nature of the case required, and which a little more moral courage and Christian plainness would have secured. She was worth saving, and I might, perchance, have been the honored instrument of saving her, and of thus rendering to society a most valuable service. That vital energy of hers which was expended in watching over her own internal feelings, might have been rendered a much more profitable investment.
But the account is closed and sealed, to be agitated or questioned no more till the inquisitions of the last day. Let such considerations and reflections as this remark suggests to the human mind have their intended effect. Let us ever increase our zeal and watchfulness, that we may avoid such a course of conduct as makes confessions meet, or needful, or even salutary.