Farm Boys and Girls

by William A. McKeever

But this chapter, as well as the entire book, is being prepared in the interest of boys and girls. So we shall attempt to show a number of specific conditions that may be sought as tending to conserve the strength and the life of the rural mother, with a view to her continuing to be in every best sense of the word a caretaker and conserver of the lives of her own children.

1. Surplus nerve energy.—However it may be achieved, the thing to work for in this connection is a surplusage of nerve energy. If the child training is to go on in a satisfactory manner, the mother especially, and if possible both parents, must have stated times and occasions for looking after such training and for inculcating a series of important fundamental lessons. The first and best test of this child-rearing situation may be made at evening. If, after the work of the ordinary day, the mother is still fresh enough to take a real interest in the children’s affairs, to read to them briefly and perhaps tell them a story or two, or to read for further preparations of her work with them,—then it may be said that her life energies are being conserved in a fairly satisfactory manner. The children will most certainly reap the benefits. But if the close of the ordinary day’s work finds the farm mother suffering from physical and nervous exhaustion, cross and impatient with the other members of the family, depressed in spirit and gloomy as to the future, these are signs which should give alarm to the head of the household and arouse him to the point of looking into such distressful conditions, and setting them right.

2. A rest period.—How would it do to plan for the mother a daily period of rest and relaxation? Would not such a program furnish something of a guarantee of length of life in her own case and of peace and contentment in the home, and of improved well-being in respect to the children? How shall we state this question? Must the very lives of the rural mother and her children be run through the mill of over-work as a grist for the improvement and up-building of the farm animals and the farm crops? Or should all of these material things be valued only in proportion as they contribute to the happiness and contentment and the long life of the members of the family? Too many farmers seem to say, as expressed by their conduct: “I must lift that mortgage this year! I must market so many bushels of corn and so many head of live stock! So here goes my wife, and here go my children into the hopper! Perhaps they will have to give up their lives. At any cost I must make this thing pay!”

Then, how would it be to set apart an hour or more each day, regularly, for the rest and relaxation of the mother, and call it “Mother’s hour”? During that time let it be the policy of the entire family to require no work, no assistance, no favors of her, unless it be in case of illness. During such a time of recuperation, the delicate organism of the ordinary woman would tend to regain its poise. The nerve energy would be more or less restored, while she would tend to view the better things of life more nearly from their right angle. Best of all, she would regather during the hour not a little strength to be used later in the caretaking of her children. Try it for a week.

3. The home conveniences.—This is not the place for a detailed discussion of what might or ought to be put into the house for the sake of the convenience of the home-maker. But if such materials be thoughtfully arranged, they may be made most effective, even though they be small and inexpensive. A little inquiry among the ordinary homes will show what is meant here, by either the presence or the lack of the things indicated. It is not so much a question of expense as it is one of thoughtful provision. The guiding principle of the home convenience is that of saving and conserving the strength of the housekeeper.

There is especially one day in the week which might be appropriately called the “mother-killing day.” That is the occasion of her doing the washing and ironing for the family. Not infrequently two or three days thereafter are required for the restoration of her normal strength and health. Now, it is clearly the specific duty of the farmer to take hold of just such matters as this and attempt seriously to put them right. Doing the washing for four or five, and that with the use of the wash tub, is a man’s work so far as required muscular energy is concerned, and very few women are able to do it regularly and live out their allotted lives. Therefore, let the conscientious farmer see to it first of all that some kind of machinery be installed for lightening such wife-killing tasks as that just named. Let him provide such household helps and conveniences first, and for the sake of the house mother and her children. And then, if there be other means available, let him provide the man-saving machinery about the barn and the fields. In the chapter on “Constructing a Country Dwelling,” fuller attention will be given to these matters.

4. The mother’s outings.—The farmer who is seriously interested in providing for the care and comfort of his family, and for the instruction and intelligent direction of his children, will see to it that his life companion be allowed her share of outings. This matter must be just as much on his mind as that of marketing the produce. The usual habit of the farmer’s wife is to give up willingly her rights and opportunities of this sort. But she cannot well continue to be spiritually strong and mentally well disposed toward the world unless she be permitted to get out among her friends and acquaintances at frequent intervals.

So, arrange carefully a series of outings for the country mother. The beginning of such a program is to provide that there be available for her use and at her command a horse and carriage. This equipment need not be of the finest quality, and it may be used for other purposes, but when her needs appear, it should be given up to her purposes. At least one afternoon a week she should go away from the place and be free as much as possible temporarily from the cares of the household while she finds congenial company among some of the neighboring women, or at the library or elsewhere.

5. The home help.—The unending problem of the home life throughout much of the civilized world is that of obtaining adequate assistance in the performance of the household work. Much of the time such assistance from outside sources is practically unavailable. And yet something must be done to meet the situation. If there be young girls growing up in the home, the solution of the problem may, and should, be met by means of requiring the daughters to assist with the home duties. But in case there be no daughters it is seriously recommended that either the father or the boys do certain parts of the heavier housework.

It is not necessarily beneath the dignity of the best and most brilliant man of this country for him to get down on his knees in his own home and help perform the menial work there which threatens to break the health of his life companion. If there be growing sons in the family, there is every justification for training them to assist in the housework in a case where such assistance is needed to shield the health and strength of the mother. It prepares for better manhood and for more sympathetic protection of his own wife to be, if the boy be required to do such things and thus to become intimately acquainted with what it means to perform the many burdensome tasks that tend to wear away the lives of so many good women.