6. The children shield the mother.—There will perhaps be no better occasion than this to remind parents of the necessity of carefully training the growing children to perform such deeds as will shield the mother in the home, and show a sympathetic interest in her welfare. These matters will not naturally be acquired by children. The country to-day is full of grown men whose mothers and wives have worked themselves to death; and yet these men did not detect the seriousness of the situation until it was too late. There are many men of this same general class who are willing and even anxious to protect the women of the home from the crush of over-work, but who know not how to do it. Such faults as we have just named might easily have been avoided had these men, during very early boyhood, been brought into an intimate acquaintance with the burdensome tasks of the household. Especially should they have been drilled time after time in the performance of deeds of love and sympathy in respect to their mother. It may seem a little thing for a younger child to rush to the table, call for and partake of the best the table provides and, inattentive to the wants of any other members of the family, hurry off to his play full fed and happy. And yet this very thing may be indicative of a serious lack of attention to the rights and requirements of others, such as may be carried over into his future home life and there amount to serious abuse. Again, it must be insisted that deeds of sympathy and altruism are acquired through the actual and continued practice of the performance of such deeds.
7. Planning for the children.—Among the other splendid results of the conservation of the nerve energy and the vital interests of the house mother may be mentioned that of her ability to plan thoughtfully for the instruction of the boys and girls. It is not an easy task to select appropriate stories and readings for the young. It is neither an easy nor a trifling matter for the parent to be able to read suitable stories to them and to interpret helpfully such stories. It is not a trifling matter for the parents to converse together an hour at evening and there plan as to the future home instruction of their young. When should this be introduced into the boy’s life and when that into the girl’s life? What is a fair allowance for the boy for what he does and for his spending money for the Fourth of July, Christmas, and the like? What is a fair allowance for the girl with which to purchase her clothes and for her pin money? When should each of them be told this and that about the secrets of life, and where may helpful literature thereon be obtained? Just when and how much should the boy and girl be allowed to go among the young people of the community? When we consider the far-reaching results which their solution may mean for the developing young lives, these and many other such questions become exceedingly important.
8. A common conspiracy.—In many a farm home to-day there is a secret compact which goes far to shape the destiny of a great number of lives. Go if you will to the farm home where the life of the mother is being gradually crushed out by the over-work and the lack of sympathetic protection on the part of the husband, and you will almost invariably find a secret understanding between the mother and the growing children in reference to the future careers of the latter. It is implied by these words put into the mouth of the mother: “Your father is too ambitious about the work and in his desire for accumulating wealth about the farm. He is over-working me, is thoughtless of me, and indifferent to your present needs and your future welfare. Work on as you must, driven by him, but do as little as you can and grow up to manhood and womanhood. Study your books, get through with your schooling, and in time find something easier for your own life work. Perhaps we can persuade him to give it up after a while and move to town, where you can go out more, dress better, and get more enjoyment out of life.” Thus, the children grow up to mistrust and dislike their father, and to despise the vocation in which he is engaged. Such a state of affairs will precipitate their flight from the home nest. This will take place at the earliest possible moment and will often be in the nature of a leap into the dark, anything to get away from the drudgery of the farm.
Mark you this situation well, you farm fathers, and attack it in all possible haste with the best available relief. A happy, contented, well-protected farm mother almost certainly means the same sort of farm children, while the converse situations will also run in the same unvarying parallel. Do not satiate your desire for more hogs and more land with the sacrifice of the peace and happiness and the very life-blood of your wife and children!
REFERENCES
The Nervous Life. G. E. Partridge, Ph.D. Sturgis-Walton Company, New York. This book is especially recommended as an aid to the relief of the tired farm mother.
Parenthood and Race Culture. Charles W. Saleeby, M.D. Chapter IX, “The Supremacy of Motherhood.” Moffat, Yard & Co., New York. This is a book of great value for students of race improvement.
From Kitchen to Garret. Virginia Van de Water. Chapter I, “A Heart-to-Heart Talk with the House Wife.” Sturgis-Walton Company. Wholesome advice concerning the conservation of the mother’s strength.
Proceedings of Child Conference for Research and Welfare, 1910. L. Pearl Boggs, Ph.D. Page 5, “Home Education.” G. E. Stechart & Co., New York.
The Efficient Life. Dr. L. H. Gulick. Chapter XVIII, “Growth in Rest.” This entire volume is highly recommended as being suitable for over-worked mothers.
What the Farmer can do to Lighten his Wife’s Work. T. Blake. Ladies’ Home Journal, Feb. 15, 1911.
The Higher Tide of Physical Conscience. Dr. L. H. Gulick. World’s Work, June, 1908.
Education for Motherhood. Charles W. Saleeby. Good Housekeeping, April, 1910.
The Profession of Motherhood. Dr. Lyman Abbott. Outlook, April 10, 1909.
Power Through Repose. Annie Payson Call. Chapter XII, “Training for Rest.” Little, Brown & Co.
Wallaces’ Farmer, Des Moines, Ia., is especially to be commended for its editorial championship of The Farm Mother.
The Freedom of Life. Annie Payson Call. Chapter IV, “Hurry, Worry, and Irritability.” Little, Brown & Co.
Ideas of a Plain Country Mother. Ladies’ Home Journal, May 1, 1911.
American Motherhood. Coopertown, New York Monthly, $1. This magazine publishes many short articles bearing on the subject of this chapter.
How to conduct Mothers’ Clubs. (Pamphlet No. 302, 8 cents.) American Motherhood. Coopertown, New York.