The restriction upon the Methodist ministers was to them greater from the fact, that for a long time they were members of a Conference existing, where all denominations were alike endowed with the power to perform the marriage ceremony. And it is recorded, that in a few instances, the ministers stationed in Canada, either forgot the illegality of marrying, or felt indisposed to submit to the unjust law, and did actually marry some persons. Elder Ryan was one, and was consequently banished; but was shortly pardoned by government, because of his known loyalty. His son-in-law, Rev. S. B. Smith, was another; but he defended himself at the trial and got free. Another was the Rev. Mr. Sawyer, who at once, being accused, fled the country for a time.
It appears that on the 31st May, 1814, government appointed five persons to issue marriage licenses. One at Queenston, one at York, one at Kingston, one at Williamsburgh, and one at Cornwall. John Cumming was appointed for Kingston. Prior to this, licenses had been occasionally issued, probably, however, only by application to government. Marrying by license was so noticeable an event, that it was considered elegant to state in the marriage notice, “married by license.”
According to a letter in our possession, sometimes the issuer of license would be without any, when he would give a certificate to the applicant, by which the party could get married, and subsequently he would furnish him with the license.
Having given the legal and legislative facts relative to marrying in early times, it may not be inappropriate to adduce some items of a social nature.
Roger Bates, of Newcastle, in his memoir at the parliament library, speaks thus pleasantly and graphically in referring to his father’s courtship and marriage, which took place at the commencement of the present century. “The mode of courting in those days was a good deal of the Indian fashion. The buxom daughter would run through the trees and bushes, and pretend to get away from the lover; but somehow or other he managed to catch her, gave her a kiss, and they soon got married, I rather think by a magistrate. Time was too valuable to make a fuss about such matters.” Whether this mode of courting was practiced elsewhere, than in Newcastle, it may be doubted. Speaking of the weddings, and the journey to get the knot tied, he says, “they generally furnished themselves with tomahawks and implements to defend themselves, and to camp out if required. The ladies had no white dresses to spoil, or fancy bonnets. With deer skin petticoats, home-spun gowns, and perhaps squirrel skin bonnet, they looked charming in the eyes of their lovers, who were rigged out in similar materials.” Again, about the wedding ring, which could not then be procured, he says, “I have heard my mother say, that uncle Ferguson, a magistrate, rather than disappoint a happy couple, who had walked twenty miles, made search throughout the house, and luckily found a pair of old English skates, to which was attached a ring, with this he proceeded with the ceremony, and fixing the ring on the young woman’s finger, reminded her, that though a homely substitute, she must continue to wear it, otherwise the ceremony would be dissolved. That curious token was greatly cherished, and is still among the family relics.”
Mr. Sheriff Sherwood, speaking of his father, one of the first magistrates appointed by Simcoe, says “he probably joined more individuals together in the happy bonds of matrimony, than any other person ever has, in the county of Leeds. I have often heard him mention the circumstance of a young man asking him to marry him, but who said, I cannot get the money to pay you, but I will make you a good wheat fan, which he readily accepted, as it was an article much used at that time. At another time an old man came on the same errand, and said to him, I cannot get the money to pay you, but I will make you a good corn basket, with oak splints, and so tight that I will warrant it to hold water, and the old man punctually fulfilled his promise.”
We have some interesting information from an old lady who settled in Ameliasburgh, and who still lives. Getting married at the beginning of the present century was a great event. The Carrying Place was the usual place of resort. They placed in a lumber waggon, a number of chairs, and each gallant was supposed to support his partner upon his knee, and thus economise room. “Bitters” were indulged in, but no fighting allowed. If one began that, he was put out. Keeping good natured was a point of duty insisted upon. No old persons went to the wedding, but they joined in the dance, when the youngsters got back. A wedding without a dance was considered an insipid affair; and it was generally kept up two or three successive nights at different places. Francis Weese’s was a half-way house between McMan’s corners, (Rednerville), and the Carrying Place. Weese was a distinguished player upon the fiddle, and the wedding parties often stayed with him the first night.
“A yoke of steers, a cow, three or four sheep, with a bed, table, two dozen chairs, was regarded a very decent setting out for the bride. And if the groom was heir to 50 or 100 acres of land, with a little cleared, he was thought to have the worldly “gear,” to constitute a first-rate match.”
The history of frontier life; of the advance body of pioneers in the far west, frequently exhibits great irregularity in morals; a non-observance of God’s commandments. But the record of the first settlers of Upper Canada is remarkably bright. When it is recollected that they were but scattered settlements in a wilderness; far away from civilized life; excluded from the world, and removed from the influence of the salutary power of public opinions, it is a matter of wonder, that great and frequent violation of God’s law, with regard to marrying did not take place. But such was not the case, as a general thing; the holy bonds of matrimony, were employed to bind man and woman together, whether through the officer, the magistrate or the clergyman. For years there was but few clergymen to marry, and also but few magistrates, and there were secluded settlements where the clergyman or magistrate came not, and from which the inhabitants could not go, perhaps for many miles to get married. But a few, and they are very few instances, are recorded where parties deviated from the righteous way. Upon the shore of the bay, in a remote locality, about the year 1796, lived two individuals, whom we will call respectively Peter and Polly. They were living in the same family, she as a “help,” and he as a hired man upon the farm. This couple had desired to enter the bonds of matrimony; but the ministers and squires lived some distance off, and they could not get away to be married, so they had to wait for the coming of one who would marry them; they had to wait, it would seem for several years, in the mean time they consoled themselves with genuine, and no doubt honest love. At last it came to pass that a Squire visited that neighbourhood, and stopped at the house where they lived.
The family bethought them of the wishes of Peter and Polly; and that now was the time to have the legal knot tied. So Polly was called from the kitchen just as she was, and Peter from the field besmeared with sweat, and clean dirt, and the two were made one. Among the witnesses of the interesting ceremony, was a bright eyed boy who trotted unceremoniously from the bride to the groom, calling them respectively “mozzer” and “fadder.” The time came when this same boy was the owner of the land whereon he had been born. This fact, from excellent authority, stands out as an exception to a general rule, although there is not about it that flagrant violation of moral principle which is too often seen at the present day, under other circumstances which afford no excuse.