The Rev. Mr. Stuart, living at Kingston, was not often called upon to marry, by persons outside of that village, and persons rarely found time to go all the way to him. When Mr. Langhorn came and opened a church at Adolphustown, and Bath, a more central place was supplied, and he consequently was often employed. But Mr. McDowell was the one who most frequently was required to marry. Being a minister of the church of Scotland, he enjoyed the privilege of marrying, and unlike Langhorn, he would marry them at their homes. So when making his rounds through the country, on his preaching excursions, he was frequently called upon to officiate in this capacity.
In the region of the Bay, were some who had in previous days, lived in comfort, and had not wanted all that belonged to the well-to-do inhabitants along the Hudson, and at New York. In some cases, these families brought with them the fine clothes that had adorned their bodies in former times. Not only was it difficult for them, in many cases, to get some one to perform the marriage ceremony; but to the female, especially, it was a grave matter how to adorn the bride with that apparel which becomes the event. In those cases where rich clothes, which had been used by parents, were stored away, they were brought forth, and by a little alteration, made to do service; but by and by these relics of better days were beyond their power to renovate, and like others, they had, if married at all, to wear the garb mentioned by Roger Bates, or some other plain article; a calico print, bought of a pedlar, or a calamink, or linsey-woolsey petticoat, or a woolen drugget, were no common luxuries in the wilderness home. An old lady who is still living, tells us that she was married in 1807, and wore the last-mentioned; and was thought very extravagant indeed. A venerable lady, a native of the Bay, and now well-nigh eighty, remembers to have attended a wedding about the year 1708, up the river Moira. She was living with her uncle, Col. C. The wedding was one of some importance, as both parties were well-to-do. There was but a path along the banks of the river, and they went on horse back. At that time riding on horseback was a common practice, not a single person merely, but in couples. It was no unusual thing to see man and wife riding along together, also brother and sister, and as well lovers. The guests to this wedding all came on horse back, generally in pairs. They assembled early in the forenoon, and the happy pair were soon united. The bride’s dress was unusually grand, being of lawn; the two bridesmaids graced the occasion by being dressed in muslin. She bears a distinct recollection of the entertainment. The banquet was crowned with a majestic chicken pie, in a pan capable of holding some twelve quarts; by roast goose, and with pies and cakes of all sorts, in abundance. The bride’s father was the deacon of a church, and did not allow dancing, but the afternoon and evening were spent in joyous mirth and jovial “plays” in connection with which forfeits were lost and redeemed. But, however much these plays may have degenerated in recent days, they were then conducted with purity of thought, and innocence of soul. The party did not break up the first day. Half of the company repaired to the house of the groom’s father, where beds were arranged for them. In the morning they went back to the scene of the wedding, upon the banks of the river, which at this point is particularly attractive. After breakfast, the young people, with the newly married pair, set out for the front, to the mouth of the river. They formed a joyous, and it must have been a picturesque cavalcade. Each gentleman selected his fair partner, and having mounted his horse, she was duly seated behind him. And thus they set out for their destination. Pleasant, indeed, must have been the ride; striking the scene, as they wended their way along the running water, and the bright autumn sun shone upon them through the variegated leaves which clothed the thickly standing trees. This night was spent at Myers’ Creek, in following the notes of the fiddle with the nimble feet. This terminated the wedding party. This is adduced as an illustration of marrying in early times. Another will be briefly given: it was a case of elopement, and occurred many years before the wedding above mentioned. A certain Squire had been for many years in the enjoyment of wedded bliss. His wife was the daughter of Capt. ——, a half-pay officer, an honest but wayward Dutchman. The Squire’s wife died, and, in due time, he sought the hand of another daughter of the Captain. But this the latter would not listen to; he was determined they should not marry; because she was his late wife’s sister. The worthy Squire could not see the force of the objection, and the lady in question was likewise blinded by love. They resolved to run away, or rather to paddle away, in a convenient canoe. Clandestinely they set out upon the head waters of the bay, intending to go to Kingston to obtain the services of a clergyman. But the Captain learned the fact of their departure and started in pursuit with his batteau and oarsmen. According to one account, the flying would-be groomsman, who was paddling his own canoe, saw the angry parent coming, and made haste to quicken his speed, but finding that they would be overtaken, they landed upon an island in the bay, and hauled up the canoe; and concealed it, with themselves, in a cavity upon the island; and, after the Captain had passed, returned homeward and procured the services of a Squire to marry them. But, according to another statement, the lovers set out while the Captain was absent at Montreal, and arrived at Kingston, unfortunately, as he was returning home. Seeing the Squire, he had his suspicions aroused, and began to look about for his daughter. She had, however, concealed herself by throwing an Indian blanket about her person, and over her head, and by sitting down among some squaws. The statement goes, that it was well the Captain did not find her, as he would, as soon as not, have shot the Squire. The end of it was, they were married, to live a long and happy domestic life. Although there may be a little doubt as to the details of this early elopement on the bay, there is no doubt that it took place in some such manner as described.
Among the Squires upon the Bay, the following were the most frequently called upon to marry: Young, of the Carrying Place; Bleeker, of the Trent; Lazier, of Sophiasburgh. The magistrates residing nearer Kingston and Adolphustown had less of this to do, as clergymen could there be more easily obtained.
CHAPTER XXIV.
Contents—Burying Places—How Selected—Family Burying Places—For the Neighbourhood—The Dutch—Upon the Hudson—Bay Quinté—A Sacred Spot to the Loyalists—Ashes to Ashes—Primitive Mode of Burial—The Coffin—At the Grave—The Father’s Remarks—Return to Labor—French Burying-place at Frontenac—Its Site—U. E. Loyalists’ Burying-place at Kingston—The “U. E. Burying Ground,” Adolphustown—Worthy Sires of Canada’s Sons—Decay—Neglect of Illustrious dead—Repair Wanted—Oldest Burying Ground in Prince Edward—Ross Place—At East Lake—Upon the Rose Farm—“The Dutch Burying Ground”—Second Growth Trees—In Sophiasburgh—Cronk Farm—In Sidney—Rude Tomb Stones—Burial-place of Capt. Myers—Reflections—Dust to Dust—In Thurlow—“Taylor Burying Ground”—The First Person Buried—Lieut. Ferguson—An Aged Female—Her Work Done—Wheels Stand Still.
THE EARLY BURYING PLACES UPON THE BAY QUINTÉ.
“Your fathers, where are they?”
Burying places in all the new settlements were, as a general thing, selected by the family to which death might first come. This was true of every part of America. Ere the forest had fallen before the hand of the axeman, or while the roots and stumps of the trees yet thickly encumbered the ground, before the scythe had been used to cut the first products of the soil, the great reaper death passed by, and one and another of the number were cut down. Some suitable place, under the circumstances, was selected for the grave, and quietly the body was laid away. In time, a neighbour would lose a member of the family, and the body would be brought and laid beside the first buried. And so on, until a certain circle would be found burying in a common place. But sometimes families would prefer to have a private burial ground, some conspicuous spot being selected upon the farm, where the ashes of the family might be gathered together, as one after another passed away. The Dutch are particularly attached to this custom. This may be seen even yet in those old sections of New York State, where the Dutch originally settled, especially at Hoboken, opposite New York City. Sacred spots were appropriated by each family upon the farm, in which the family was buried. The descendants of these Dutch who became such loyal subjects, and suffering refugees who settled around the bay, followed the same practice. These spots may be seen along the Hudson, and the Bay Quinté, which may be regarded as the Hudson of Canada, and are indicated by the drooping willow, or the locust or cypress. Some from whom reliable information has been received, state that the spot selected on the Bay Quinté was often that, where the family had first landed—where they had rested on the bare earth, beneath the trees, until a hut could be erected. This spot was chosen by the refugee himself as a suitable place to take his last rest. Indeed, the devotion of the settler to the land where he had wrought out his living, and secured a comfortable home, was sometimes of an exalted character. One instance by way of illustration:—There came to the shores of Hay Bay an heroic woman, a little rough perhaps, but one whose soul had been bitterly tried during the conflict between her king and the rebels. Her husband had been on many a battle-field, and she had assisted on many an occasion to give comfort to the British troops. The log hut was duly erected, and day after day they went forth together to subdue the wilderness. In the sear and yellow leaf, when competence had been secured and could be bequeathed to their children, when the first log tenement had fallen to decay, she caused her children to promise that her body should be laid upon the spot where that old hut had stood.
The mode of burial was often simple and touching, often there was no clergyman of any denomination; no one to read a prayer over the dead for the benefit of the living. Frequently, in the hush of suspended work, through the quiet shades of the trees whose boughs sighed a requiem, like as if angels whispered peace to the sad and tearful mourners who silently, or with suppressed sobs, followed the coffin of the plainest kind, often of rough construction, which contained the remains of a loved one to the grave, in some spot selected. The rude coffin being placed in the grave, those present would uncover, and the father, in sad tones, would make a few remarks respecting the departed, offer a few thoughts which the occasion suggested, and then the coffin was hidden out of sight. The men would return to their labors, and the women to their duties.
We learn, on excellent authority, that the burial place for the French, at Fort Frontenac, was where the barracks now stand near the bridge. But not unlikely the French, when one died away from the fort at any distance, committed the dead to the earth in Indian burial places. The first burial place for the U. E. Loyalists in Kingston, was situated where St. Paul’s Church now stands, on Queen Street, which was formerly called Grove Street.