It was on the day following that conversation with Mrs. Lee which I have just related that the dear little woman called upon her old friend the Rev. —— and was closeted with him for two hours. When she returned she gave me the substance of what had passed between them, and added that Mr. —— was going to Edinburgh, whither he had been suddenly summoned, but that on his return he would visit me and earnestly enter with me into my trouble and advise me.
I asked Mrs. Lee what he had said, and she owned that though he had talked much he had left no very definite impressions upon her mind.
‘Unhappily,’ said she, ‘there is no middle way in this sad business. You want your children: you must have them: but in order to obtain them your husband must be informed that you are alive. That is what you do not want. I tell you frankly, Agnes, Mr. ——’s opinion is, that for the sake of your children and for your own, and for your husband’s sake, it is your bounden duty to make your existence known.’
‘And my sister?’ cried I; ‘he does not name my sister.’
‘Yes, to deeply pity her, for she is the true sufferer. Your trouble is voluntary, and you can end it when you choose. However, let us wait until Mr. —— returns. By that time a change may come over your mind, or Mr. —— may be able to offer some suggestion of the utmost usefulness to us. And pray, my dear, also remember that in the eyes of my friend your sister is not a wife: nothing could make her your husband’s wife short of an Act of Parliament, and even if she could be legally married to him as his deceased wife’s sister, she still cannot be his wife whilst you are living. This was one of Mr. ——’s arguments, and he insisted that it was your duty to rescue your sister from the false and really odious position in which her ignorance of your being alive has placed her.’
But I was now firm. Every hour of thought had served to harden my resolution. I did not choose to consider that my sister was in a false position because I was alive, but I did choose to consider that she would be in a false position if I announced my existence; and my fixed determination, therefore, was to remain dead to her and her husband, leaving it to the Almighty God who had watched over me in many terrible perils and distresses, and who had raised up a friend for me when I was absolutely friendless and blind in soul upon the great ocean, to find a way of His own to bring me and my little ones together.
It was on the morning of the sixth day, dating from the receipt of General Ramsay’s letter, that Mrs. Lee opened a newspaper which had been addressed to her from Bath, and read aloud the announcement of my husband’s marriage to my sister. The statement was brief; merely that the marriage had taken place in London.
I had passed a long miserable night of bitter thought, with a desire in me that had grown more and more impassioned as I lay dwelling upon it; and yet I know not that I would have given expression to it or have resolved upon gratifying it but for Mrs. Lee reading aloud this announcement of my husband’s marriage. But when she had read it, and sat gazing at me through her glasses in silence, I sprang up and cried:
‘I must see my children. I have struggled hard with the yearning, but it will have its way.’
Something like a smile of satisfaction lighted up her face as she answered: