"The biggest crop you ever see!" was the prompt reply. "I've got so much hay I don't know what to do with it. I've piled up all I can out-doors and am going to put the rest of it in the barn."
Robert Dale Owen, the spiritualist, once read the President a long manuscript on an abstruse subject with which that rather erratic person loved to deal. Lincoln listened patiently until the author asked for his opinion, when he replied, with a yawn,—
"Well, for those who like that sort of thing, I should think it is just about the sort of thing they would like."
While Lincoln was always very patient, he often adopted droll methods for getting rid of bores. The late Justice Cartter of the Supreme Court of the District of Columbia used to relate an incident of a Philadelphia man who called at the White House so frequently and took up so much of the President's time that the latter finally lost his patience. One day when the gentleman was particularly verbose and persistent, and refused to leave, although he knew that important delegations were waiting, Lincoln arose, walked over to a wardrobe in the corner of the cabinet chamber, and took a bottle from a shelf. Looking gravely at his visitor, whose head was very bald, he remarked,—
"Did you ever try this stuff for your hair?"
"No, sir, I never did."
"Well," remarked Lincoln, "I advise you to try it, and I will give you this bottle. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Keep it up. They say it will make hair grow on a pumpkin. Now take it and come back in eight or ten months and tell me how it works."
The astonished Philadelphian left the room instantly without a word, carrying the bottle in his hand, and Judge Cartter, coming in with the next delegation, found the President doubled up with laughter at the success of his strategy. Before he could proceed to business the story had to be told.
"His skill in parrying troublesome questions was wonderful," said Mr. Chauncey M. Depew. "I was in Washington at a critical period of the war, when the late John Ganson, of Buffalo, one of the ablest lawyers in our State, and who, though elected as a Democrat, supported all Mr. Lincoln's war measures, called on him for explanations. Mr. Ganson was very bald, with a perfectly smooth face, and had a most direct and aggressive way of stating his views or of demanding what he thought he was entitled to. He said,—
"'Mr. Lincoln, I have supported all of your measures and think I am entitled to your confidence. We are voting and acting in the dark in Congress, and I demand to know—I think I have the right to ask and to know—what is the present situation and what are the prospects and conditions of the several campaigns and armies.'