It is not proper for a widow to remarry. In the higher classes a widow is expected to weep for her deceased husband, and to wear mourning all her life. It would be infamy for her, however young, to marry a second time. The king who reigned 1469–1494 excluded children of remarried widows from competition at the public examinations, [[255]]and from admittance to any official employment. Even to the present day such children are looked upon as illegitimate.
Among a people so passionate as Coreans, grave social disorders result from such a custom. The young noble widows who cannot remarry become, in most cases, secretly or openly the concubines of those who wish to support them. The others who strive to live chastely are rudely exposed to the inroads of passion. Sometimes they are made intoxicated by narcotics which are put in their drink, and they wake to find themselves dishonored. Sometimes they are abducted by force, during the night, by the aid of hired bandits. When they become victims of violence, there is no remedy possible. It often happens that young widows commit suicide, after the death of their husbands, in order to prove their fidelity and to secure their honor and reputation beyond the taint of suspicion. Such women are esteemed models of chastity, and there is no end to their praises among the nobles. Through their influence, the king often decrees a memorial gateway, column, or temple, intended to be a monument of their heroism and virtue. Thus it has often happened that Christian widows begged of the missionary fathers permission to commit suicide, if attempts were made to violate their houses or their persons; and it was with difficulty that they could be made to comprehend the Christian doctrine concerning suicide.
The usual method of self-destruction is ja-mun, or cutting the throat, or opening the abdomen with a sword. In this the Coreans are like the Japanese, neck-cutting or piercing being the feminine, and hara-kiri (belly-cutting) the masculine, method of ending life at one’s own hands.
Among the common people, second marriages are forbidden neither by law nor custom, but wealthy families endeavor to imitate the nobles in this custom as in others. Among the poor, necessity knows no law. The men must have their food prepared for them, and women cannot, and do not willingly die of famine when a husband offers himself. Hence second marriages among the lowly are quite frequent.
Most of the facts stated in this chapter are drawn from Dallet’s “History of the [Roman Catholic] Church in Corea.” Making due allowance for the statements of celibate priests, who are aliens in religion, nationality, and civilization, the picture of the social life of Chō-sen is that of abominable heathenism. [[256]]
CHAPTER XXIX.
CHILD LIFE.
Judging from a collection of the toys of Corean children, and from their many terms of affection and words relating to games and sports, festivals and recreation, nursery stories, etc., the life of the little Kim or Ni must be a pleasant one. For the blessings of offspring the parents offer rice to the god of the household (sam-sin-hang), whose tiny shrine holds a place of honor in some ornamental niche in the best room. When the baby begins to grow, cradles being unknown, the mother puts the infant to sleep by to-tak, to-tak—patting it lightly on the stomach. When it is able to take its first step across the floor—the tiger-skin rug being ready to ease its possible fall—this important household event, spoken of with joy as the ja-pak, ja-pak, is described to the neighbors. As the child grows up and is able to walk and run about, the hair is mostly shaved off, so that only a “button of jade” is left on the top of the head. This infantile tuft takes its name from the badge or togle worn on the top of the men’s caps in winter. A child, “three feet high,” very beautiful and well formed, docile and strong, if a son, is spoken of “as a thousand-mile horse”—one who promises to make an alert and enduring man. A child noted for filial piety will even cheerfully commit tan-ji—cutting his finger to furnish his blood as a remedy for the sickness of father or mother. Should the child die, a stone effigy or statue of itself is set up before his grave.