The other abuse is, their Libertinous Masses, the redresse whereof, I first to the Heavens, and then to my Prince bequeath: whose Sabboth recusant mony, whereof they bragge (as they say) in derision of our luke-warme dispensation, tendeth to none other purpose, but to obumbrat the true light of the Gospell, and to feed their absurd, and almost irrevocable ignorance.
And neverthelesse at their dayly meetings (experience taught mee) there was never a more repining people against our Prince and Church as they be: for in this presumption a twofold cause arriseth, want of zeale, and Church discipline in our part, and the officious nine penny Masse on their part: yea, all, and each of them, so exacted and compounded with at higher or lower rates, as the officers in this nature please.
The distribution whereof I nowaies paralell to the sleight concaviating veynes of the earth, nor the sole supply of high-rising Atlas, neither to invelope the Perpendiculars of long-reaching Caucasus: howsoever tect-demolished [X. 433.]Churches, unpassable Bridges, indigent Schollers, and distressed Families be supported there-with, I am as cleare of it as they, although I smart by the contrary confusion.
But leaving this and observing my Method, I remember I saw in Irelands North-parts, two remarkable sights: A bad and uncivill Husbandry in Ireland.The one was their manner of Tillage, Ploughes drawne by Horse-tayles, wanting garnishing, they are only fastned, with straw, or wooden Ropes to their bare Rumps, marching all side for side, three or foure in a Ranke, and as many men hanging by the ends of that untoward Labour. It is as bad a Husbandry I say, as ever I found among the wildest Savages alive; for the Caramins, who understand not the civill forme of Agriculture; yet they delve, hollow, and turne over the ground, with manuall and Wooden instruments: but they the Irish have thousands of both Kingdomes daily labouring beside them; yet they can not learne, because they wil not learne, to use garnishing, so obstinate they are in their barbarous consuetude, unlesse punishment and penalties were inflicted; and yet most of them are content to pay twenty shillings a yeare, before they wil change their Custome.
Northerne Irish women giving sucke to their Babes behind their shoulders.The other as goodly sight I saw, was women travayling the way, or toyling at home, carry their Infants about their neckes, and laying the dugges over their shoulders, would give sucke to the Babes behinde their backes, without taking them in their armes: Such kind of breasts, me thinketh were very fit, to be made money bags for East or West-Indian Merchants, being more then halfe a yard long, and as wel wrought, as any Tanner, in the like charge, could ever mollifie such Leather.
[X. 434.]As for any other customes they have, to avoyd prolixitie I spare; onely, before my pen flee over Seas, I would gladly shake hands with some of our Churchmen there, for better are the wounds of a friend, than the sweet smiles of a flatterer, for love and trueth can not dissemble.
Many dissembling impudents intrude themselves in this high calling of God, who are not truely, neither worthily thereunto called; the ground here arrising either from a carnall or carelesse presumption, otherwise from needy greed, and lacke of bodily maintenance.
An Ecclesiasticke corruption in unlawfull Preachers.Such is now the corruption of time, that I know here even Mechanick men admitted in the place of Pastors: yea, and rude bred Souldiers whose education was at the Musket mouth, are become there, both Lybian grave, and unlearned Church-men: Nay; besides them professed; indeed professed Schollers: whose warbling mouthes ingorged with spoonefuls of bruised Latine, seldome or never expressed, unlesse the force of quaffing, spew it forth from their empty sculles: Such I say, interclude their doctrine, betweene the thatch and the Church-wall tops; and yet their smallest stipends shall amount to one, two, three, or foure hundred pounds a yeare.
Whereupon you may demand mee, how spend they, or how deserve they this? I answer, their deserts are nought, and the fruite thereof as naughtily spent: for Sermons and Prayers they never have any, neither never preached any, nor can preach.
And although some could, as perhaps they seeming would, they shall have no Auditour (as they say) but [X. 435.]bare walles, the plants of their Parishes, being the rootes of mere Irish. As concerning their cariage, in spending such sacrilegious fees, the course is thus.