And so, alas! I'm a bachelor still.
Advertisements Extraordinary.
THE INDUSTRIOUS FLEAS will continue to perform their operations in every part of the British dominions, most especially during the Summer months, to the infinite delight and satisfaction of millions of his Majesty's subjects, many thousands of whom have expressed themselves quite tickled with their ingenuity.
MR. PUFF respectfully announces that he is authorized to state, that he has received instructions to declare, that he will submit to public competition the whole of the superb and genuine HOUSEHOLD FURNITURE and EFFECTS of the late Simon Squander, Esq., deceased: comprising, among other valuables, a capital cast-iron library, containing upwards of 5000 wooden volumes, bound in calf, and 500 illegible manuscripts beautifully printed; an excellent self-willed never acting pianoforte; a superb suite of wrought iron window curtains; four splendid cobweb carpets; an invisible sofa; two capital India-rubber mirrors; a large stock of flint table and bed-linen; straw fenders and fire irons; leather looking-glasses; a set of calico dining tables, with chairs en suite; about 10,000 ounces of pewter plate; and an excellent paper clock, warranted not to go. The whole will be sold by auction, without reserve, on the First of April next. Catalogues to be had of the Auctioneer.
Most Remarkable Fact!—There are now living at Manchester, six persons, whose united ages reach the enormous amount of one hundred and twenty years! And, strange to say, they are all in full possession of their ordinary faculties!
DECEMBER—'Boxing Day'
| 1836.] | DECEMBER. | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Holiday joys have some alloys,— | |||
| For many they're bitter pills, | |||
| When all the dearest ducks come home | |||
| From school, with their long bills, | |||
| And the noisy waits at midnight chime, | |||
| Convince you it is Wakation time. | |||
| M | Season's | Odd Matters. | WEATHER. |
| D | Signs. | ||
| 1 | The | ||
| "BOXIANA." | |||
| 2 | season's | Now | |
| I hate the very name of box; | |||
| 3 | signs | It fills me full of fears: | would it not |
| It 'minds me of the woes I've felt | |||
| 4 | this | Since I was young in years. | be better |
| 5 | month | They sent me to a Yorkshire school, | ⚹ ♄ ♓ ☉ ♄ |
| Where I had many knocks; | |||
| 6 | do | For there my schoolmates box'd my ears, | |
| Because I couldn't box. | |||
| 7 | greatly | than such | |
| I pack'd my box; I pick'd the locks; | |||
| 8 | vary | And ran away to sea; | |
| And very soon I learnt to box | |||
| 9 | in | The compass merrily. | ☌ ♄ ♂ |
| 10 | manner | I came ashore—I call'd a coach, | |
| And mounted on the box; | weather | ||
| 11 | too | The coach upset against a post, | |
| And gave me dreadful knocks. | wisdom | ||
| 12 | that's | ||
| I soon got well; in love I fell, | as this, | ||
| 13 | most | And married Martha Cox; | |
| To please her will, at fam'd Box Hill, | |||
| 14 | extr'or- | I took a country box. | ☽ ☿ ♍ ♊ ♉ |
| 15 | dinary: | I had a pretty garden there, | |
| All border'd round with box; | that I should | ||
| 16 | if you | But ah, alas! there liv'd, next door, | |
| A certain Captain Knox. | arrive | ||
| 17 | are | ||
| He took my wife to see the play;— | at the end | ||
| 18 | rich | They had a private box; | |
| I jealous grew, and from that day | of my tether | ||
| 19 | why | I hated Captain Knox. | |
| 20 | then | I sold my house—I left my wife;— | ♃ ♄ ♍ |
| And went to Lawyer Fox, | |||
| 21 | you're | Who tempted me to seek redress | |
| All from a jury box. | without | ||
| 22 | warm | ||
| I went to law, whose greedy maw | |||
| 23 | and | Soon emptied my strong box; | having |
| I lost my suit, and cash to boot, | |||
| 24 | jolly, | All thro' that crafty Fox. | |
| prophecied | |||
| 25 | but if | The name of box I therefore dread, | |
| I've had so many shocks; | |||
| 26 | you're | They'll never end,—for when I'm dead | ☍ ♀ ☽ ♐ |
| They'll nail me in a box. | |||
| 27 | poor,— | ||
| anything at | |||
| 28 | cold | ||
| all about | |||
| 29 | hungry | ||
| the matter? | |||
| 30 | melan- | ||
| 31 | choly. | ♀ ♐ ♄ ♊ ♑ | |